Dust Thou Are To Dust Thou Returnest Was Not Spoken Of The S

[13:42] <Aline> It should've been fine. Fun, enjoyable even. That's what Aline had thought all through the science club meeting one particular afternoon. But as of late… it felt wrong, incongruous. She managed to drum up enough wits to be able to present herself during her little segment, where she went on about as much as NERV allowed her about Angelic biology, AT Fields, and the like. She even staggered
[13:42] <Aline> it so as to not hog the show - it was only once a month, actually - but… Aline almost wished it would have been even more spaced out. She could feel that weird feeling welling up in her gut, and the want to clip questions short, even if the whole bit about the functions of cores /was/ interesting. But after being on the spot so long… Aline found herself sitting in a chair in the room
[13:42] <Aline> they met in, well after many of the other kids were on their way to leave. Just… staring. Forward. Into nowhere really, just… like a trance nearly.
[13:47] <Elena‘> There was a heavy -thud- in front of her as someone dropped- or nearly slammed- a textbook on the desk in front of her.
[13:49] * Aline at first didn’t react. It was almost uncanny… but it was, in truth, just a few-second delay, before she actually /recoiled/. Almost in shock. "Wh-wha…?"
[14:03] <Elena‘> "-There- we go." It was Elena, and the textbook was the school’s general Advanced Science textbook. "What's up?"
[14:05] * Aline looked as though she were a deer in headlights, at that. "I…" Eyes glanced randomly about the room. "What do you mean?"
[14:14] <Elena‘> "You’ve been… All spacy today. Again."
[14:15] <Aline> "…Er, right. Uh…" Aline scratched the back of her head awkwardly. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised you noticed. The other kids don't seem to want to say anything though…" For a second or two, Aline left it at that, creating an awkward pause. "You're worried, aren't you?"
[14:22] <Elena‘> "You could say that…" Said Elena, a light frown on her face.
[14:25] * Aline nodded. "I’m not sure what I can say. It's…" She looked… embarrassed? "It's been a thing that's been… thing… ing. I'm sorry, it's hard to explain."
[14:29] <Elena‘> "…" Elena sighed. "Well, it’s time to go- do you want to go swing by the shops? Maybe you can figure out how to explain it by then."
[14:30] * Aline began to stand up. "Maybe. At least just to… windowshop. I don't want to blow too much of my allowance."
[14:31] <Elena‘> "That’s fine."
[14:35] <Elena‘> [They left the school club behind, heading into the city.-
[14:37] <Elena`> [Paris-2 was bustling and noisy nowadays; and with more people came new shops. Clothing stores, fast food, book and game stores- the variety was astounding compared to how the city had once been.]
[14:42] * Aline was pretty impressed, too. She didn’t quite /leave/ her funk, though she did get properly distracted by things… like this really interesting multi-tiered black and white dress that was way too fancy and way too expensive for her… Oddly enough, it was when Aline took her gaze off of the clothing that she felt enough courage to talk more. "…You know, I think I have it. Have you
[14:42] * Aline ever felt like you weren't there?" Beat. "Not like, flat-out, but more in terms of being off somewhere else, but yet not really daydreaming about anything at all, just sort of… suspended in a void?"
[14:54] * Elena‘ had walked along, eyeing the fancy clothes as well with an interested, if not appraising eye- but when Aline spoke she turned her attention back to her. "Yes, I have."
#6[14:58] * Aline wrapped her hands together, taking another look back at the clothes, before they started to pass that shop by. "Right. Feeling nothing, wanting nothing… I’ve been getting that a lot. I'm sort of worried about it myself, and I just… Hm." Aline bit her lip for a second. "Can't feel right in front of people like that. It's so much /work/ to bring back the normal-acting face. I
[14:58] * Aline don't get how other people can be so used to it." Aline knew better than to refer to Yanmei too much around Elena, though she was also polite enough to not bring it up to Yanmei, since she heard tell it had been settled. "It's almost painful to do, to face everyone and put on a lively tone."
[15:04] * Elena‘ nodded. "It’s very wearying. It sounds like you're depressed in a harder way than usual."
[15:12] * Aline frowned at that, staring ahead after a brief look over at her. "But yet it's not… quite the same. It feels numb. Dry. Normal depression is, like… feeling worthless and not-wanting. This is more…" A small shudder. "Like a silence. I think it's got to do with my 'job'."
[15:12] <Elena‘> "Oh?"
[15:14] * Aline nodded firmly. "Yeah. The more I think about it, the more it feels like maybe it’s some twisted coping measure. The things I've seen, and felt for that matter…"
[15:18] <Elena‘> "Are you sure?" Asked Elena. "It sounds like PTSD or intense depression to me…"
[15:23] * Aline bit her lip again, looking down at the ground. "I don’t know it, I guess. Just making stuff up." She waved her hand to try to look more casual, but it fell flat. A bookstore passed by, but she only looked indirectly. "What would you do, though? Would it be different? The others react differently, I know that much. I'm just melancholic…"
[15:38] <Elena‘> "I… Would do everything I could to stop feeling like that." Said Elena, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Therapy, for example. Then I’d optimise my diet to make sure I was getting the right sort of food, the sort that keeps me energetic and happy. Then I'd make sure I stuck to a strict physical workout, as that sort of activity can release a lot of endorphins that
[15:38] <Elena‘> makes you feel a -lot- better, and it gives you time to think about things as well. That’s probably why Yanmei hasn't felt it so hard."
[15:42] * Aline made a little noise. Not a dismissive 'tch', but more of a half-signing 'pfuh'. "…Well, I do have some therapy, but… Maybe part of it is that she hasn't been /hit/ as hard. There's more to it than just the strain of fighting." At that, Aline suddenly stopped walking. "That time. When she spoke to everyone. Did you only hear that message… or were you spoken to? What did /she/
[15:42] * Aline say?"
[15:48] <Elena‘> "She? Who?"
[15:49] * Aline blinked. "…Oh, right. I should be clearer. The Angel, the one that /everyone/ heard. The one that was in space."
[15:50] * Elena` frowned.-
[15:52] <Elena`> "I heard its message. Whatever -that- was about. I had other nightmares for months though."
[15:54] * Aline nodded… "Well, long short it was about the pilots for the most part. But… Imagine that same feeling, but picking through your memories, showing you things, berating you… Sometimes even just sticking a proverbial knife in and /twisting/."
[16:01] <Elena`> "I see…" Said Elena quietly. She didn’t say much more than that for a few more minutes.-
[16:01] <Elena‘> "Then those effects are what’s making you depressed?"
[16:04] * Aline stared back. "…It's a big part of it. And I get more of it than the others do, for whatever reason. But yeah. Just… being so dried out and numb.."
[16:08] <Elena‘> "Hmmm…"-#
[16:08] <Elena`> Elena rubbed her chin curiously. "I think the tools for getting yourself back on track are right in your hands."
[16:11] * Aline looked back at Elena, her right hand opened and closed a few times. "…You’re probably right…"
[16:12] <Elena‘> "First and foremost, -stop that-."
[16:13] * Aline twitched, and clenched her hand shut. "…Nn."
[16:14] <Elena`> "No, stop it." Said Elena, frowning, turning about face. "You’re not going to fix -anything- by speaking so wispy and loose. You need to speak in definites. 'You're right!'. Not 'You're prooooobably riiiiiiight'."
[16:17] * Aline stared. Stared again. "Hm. Firm." Oddly, rather than intimidated, Aline now sounded contemplative. "But not absolutes. Absolutes are… ff. Repulsive."
[16:18] <Elena‘> "’Absolutes are repulsive' is an absolute."
[16:19] * Aline waved a hand, now becoming slightly annoyed. "Or an opini-" But then she smirked. "Oh /I/ see where you're going with that."
[16:22] * Elena‘ threw out a peace sign. "Oh really? See, now I’m starting to see a bit of colour coming back to your cheeks. Whoever thought that the key to fixing your problems would be to annoy you out of them~?"
[16:24] * Aline waved that hand a bit wider. "I guess I get in ruts! Clearly I need more… meaningful contacts. Avoidant behavior doesn't really help that."
[16:25] <Elena‘> "That’s one path to take." Said Elena. "I think you actually -do- get influenced a lot by the emotions of others around you in your own way."
[16:29] * Aline scratched the back of her head, though unlike back in the club room, it was less a move of awkwardness now, and more of a semi-amused gesture. "It's like my natural state. But it can be used for my benefit, too."
[16:29] <Elena‘> "It can." … "Have you ever done yoga?"
[16:31] * Aline looked honestly surprised. "…No! I haven’t."
[16:32] <Elena‘> "I do Yoga on saturdays at a local gym. Why don’t you come along? They're a pretty lively bunch, around our ages too, some of them. I'm sure you'll be reaping the benefits immediately."
[16:36] * Aline rubbed her hands together a little. "Lively sounds good. I think I'll go for it. I suppose we can continue to work on this. I'm… Mm. Glad how helpful you're being."
[16:37] <Elena‘> "Hey, it’s no problem." Said Elena cheerfully. "Helping out is good. If you help out whenever you can, good things will happen to you, and that's a fact."
[16:41] <Aline> "Right enough~" Aline was actually pretty chipper now, maybe because of such encouragement! "Thanks for the trip, though. I think I feel good enough now for a bit, and we can meet on saturday for the session, yeah?"
[16:43] <Elena‘> "That sounds good to me. Oh, also- have you spoken to Shinji about how you feel?"
[16:46] * Aline suddenly blushed. "Well, yeah, I’ve mentioned it a little in our calls. He's not that confronting, though, so there's mostly just been concerned talks. It gets me through a day at least."
[16:51] * Elena‘ nodded. "Well, that’s good then, at least. It must be nice having that to fall back on, huh?"
[16:54] <Aline> "Yup! It's nice to have some support anyway."
[16:56] <Elena‘> "Well, you should keep that in mind, alright? You’re not alone. You have lots of people near and far to help you."
[16:59] * Aline nodded, with a little smile. "Yeah… Yeah!"
[17:01] <Elena‘> "Maybe, the next time some angel tries to do something like that to you, the techniques you learn at Yoga might be able to help out. It sounds odd, but you’d be surprised."
[17:03] * Aline raised a brow at that. "We'll just have to see, won't we?"
[17:08] <Elena‘> "We will~ Come on, let’s go check out that new pet shop down by the bottom floor~" A grab of the arm, and they were off!
[17:10] * Aline could hardly say anything, before she was dragged off as well! At least it was a cute reason to go~

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License