For Phone Anger Management

[21:56] * Yanmei was nearly to the subway when her purse broke into song - a track several years old from Tokyo-2 songstress Utada Hikaru. Not really her sort of song, but it had a nice beat to it. Sidling out of the way, beneath the awning of a nearby bakery, she dug through her bag. -
[21:58] <Yanmei> The first phone she clawed her way to was… the wrong one. As was the second. "Don't hang up, don't hang up, she muttered… finally the third phone, which she hastily answered and raised to her ear. As far as she knew, only one person had the number for it. "Hello, Captain."
[21:59] <Atticus> "Aha! There you are. Hello, Yanmei~"
[22:06] <Yanmei> "Ah, you got my message, I see." She wound the handle of a plastic shopping back around the fingers on her free hand a few times. "I'm a little relieved. How've you been lately?"
[22:07] <Atticus> "Busy busy busy." Said the boy cheerfully. "I don't suppose I told you, eh? I've been transferred to Paris-2 as the captain of its VTOL Wing!"
[22:09] <Yanmei> "Huh? When? Really?"
[22:09] <Atticus> "About a few days before that last battle~"
[22:11] <Yanmei> "Congratulations! Ah, wait… That means you were there?"
[22:11] <Atticus> "I was!"
[22:12] <Yanmei> "…" Yanmei grimaced. "For… the entire fight?"
[22:13] <Atticus> "Well, no. I had to retreat at some point. It's a liiiittle hazy." Came his carefree voice. "I think I left shortly after… Ah yes. After 04 went berserk~"
[22:15] * Yanmei …lifted a palm to her face. "Do me a favor, okay? Forget that you saw that?"
[22:19] <Atticus> "Oh?"
[22:21] <Yanmei> "Don't sound so surprised about it," she muttered. "Its… beyond humiliating."
[22:23] <Atticus> "Huh?" Atticus … Seemed confused. "I don't understand."
[22:26] <Yanmei> "A pilot should be in control of an EVA," Yanmei explained. Her voice was calm, despite everything. "When an EVA berserks it… takes over. The pilot loses control and becomes just a plaything while the EVA does whatever it wants. Which usually amounts to murder and dismemberment."-
[22:28] <Yanmei> "That's why berserking is a Bad Thing, and why a good pilot shouldn't allow it to happen."
[22:29] <Atticus> "Ah…" Atticus paused for a moment. "So you're afraid you think you're a bad pilot, huh?"
[22:31] <Yanmei> "Like I meant it that way!" Confidence! Yanmei threw as much of it behind her voice as she could. Him concluding that would make things even more awkward than they were. "It's just embarrassing, okay? So…"
[22:32] <Atticus> "Haha, alright. Alright. Sorry."
[22:36] <Yanmei> "No problem, no problem." Yanmei waved her hand dismissively, even though he couldn't see it. "Anyway, I called because… actually, how closely have you been keeping up with me this time around? Through your contacts, I mean."
[22:37] <Atticus> "Not -too- well, surprisingly enough."
[22:39] <Yanmei> "I'm not surprised? You just moved, so it's to be expected. You're probably busy with your own work too." She leaned against a brick wall. "Long story short… remember when we talked together in the snow? At that resort? You said that you knew some, er, anger management techniques."
[22:42] <Atticus> "Mmhmmm?"
[22:42] <Yanmei> "Could…" she looked around. Probably few eavedroppers, but it didn't matter. "Could you teach one to me?"
[22:45] <Atticus> "Oh dear. Is everything ok?"
[22:48] * Yanmei couldn't assure him and ask for something like that, now could she? She struggled to find some way to say it that wouldn't worry him too much. "Just a lot of things piling up. Work troubles. Isaiah troubles. I've…" she shook her head. "I've been holding things together on willpower. But what happens when that willpower runs out?"
[22:49] <Atticus> "Then you break down and collapse, usually." Said Atticus. "Why don't you tell me about some of these things, though? Get them off your chest."
[22:54] * Yanmei clutched the phone a little harder. Is this part of it? Venting? "I'll start out with something not-so-bad, then. Things with the Instrumentality Committee are going too slowly for comfort. EVA 07 is over 80% complete now, and it won't be long until they start selecting pilots. "
[22:54] <Atticus> "Aha." … "Mmm, is has to do with your boy piloting, right?"
[22:58] * Rynol is now known as Rynol|AFK
[22:58] <Yanmei> "That's right. It will be stationed in the Algeria research facility. That's right next door. If they were going to pull a pilot from someplace, why not Paris-2? I've been on friendly terms with a single member of the Committee, and the UN Attache for NERV, but it's not enough. And speaking of Isaiah…"-
[23:00] * Oat has joined #NERVFrance
[23:01] <Yanmei> "B-because of me, he had a nervous breakdown."
[23:01] <Atticus> "Oh dear. What did you do?"
[23:06] <Yanmei> "I told him that a friend died." She shut her eyes. "He wouldn't stop screaming. Later it was crying. I had to stay with him because if I tried to leave he would break down even worse."
[23:08] <Atticus> "Hmm." Atticus paused. "Well, I'm not sure what else you could have done."
[23:09] <Yanmei> "If I had waited until he was strong enough to handle it…"
[23:09] <Atticus> "Wait. What does that mean?" Asked Atticus.
[23:12] <Yanmei> "I don't know. Maybe waited until he was physically well again, or timed it so that it wouldn't hurt as much?"
[23:16] <Atticus> "I… Don't think that's something you should worry about." Said Atticus uncertainly. "If he was close to this friend, it doesn't matter -when- you tell him- it'll always hurt a hell of a lot."
[23:21] <Yanmei> "I guess, but…" she remembered his screams with a jolt of pain. "He's better now. Staying with me and Marianne instead of the hospital for a while. At least I can watch over him."
[23:28] <Atticus> "Well, that's good at least. Someone as frail as him needs to be taken care of."
[23:29] * Yanmei was prompted to check her watch. Had to be home in two hours in order to make dinner, actually. She still had plenty of time to chat. "There's some work related stuff too? Besides the berserking."-
[23:32] <Yanmei> There was a gap there. It included Kaworu and the actual horror of 04's day out. There were some things that she simply didn't know how to say, though.
[23:32] <Atticus> "Well, you can tell me everything, Yanmei."
[23:37] <Yanmei> "The Major's trying implement a form of training that we've never tried before. He wants Blanc and me to move in together for a week and to… I don't know? Get so used to each other, and learn our new routine so well that we can pull it off flawlessly in combat."-
[23:38] <Yanmei> She lowered her head a bit. "We just had a meeting for it a little while ago. I've… it's a long time since I've felt this angry."
[23:39] <Atticus> "Oh geez. What happened?"
[23:41] <Yanmei> "Blanc was influriating. The Major was too." She grit her teeth, but only briefly, as it made talking difficult.-
[23:46] <Yanmei> "I try to follow orders. Sacrificed my time, my dreams, my privacy, my home and old friends to be here. Normally, I wouldn't care if had to hand out smiles and comfort hugs on demand, and play nice with someone who claims to be frightened of me for the most baffling of reasons. Today they ganged up on me for not being nice enough to Blanc, and I don't know. I wanted to scream."-
[23:51] <Yanmei> "It's not a big deal, right? It shouldn't be. But…" She swiped a hand through her hair. "What do you think, Atticus? Am I scary? Am I the sort of person who would attack an ally and disrupt a work relationship even if they were asking for it? I have more self control than that, right? That's why I'm calling you now."
[23:54] <Atticus> "Hmmm." There was a silence. "I wouldn't say you're scary, but… Do you mind if I ask you a question?"
[00:05] <Atticus> "-Do- you feel like attacking Aline?"
[00:06] * Yanmei has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
[00:08] <Yanmei‘> "…" Lie. Spin. Evade? "It’s not a consistent thing."
[00:18] * Yanmei‘ is now known as Yanmei
[00:24] <Atticus> "So… Is that a yes or a no?"
[00:24] * Rynol|AFK is now known as Rynol
[00:27] <Yanmei> "It’s a 'depending on the circumstance'? If someone's being annoying or frustrating or clueless or whatever, of course you want to let them have it. It's a frustration thing. But… because people have willpower, we can overcome that."
[00:28] * Atticus has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
[00:28] * Lulu‘Haplo has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
[00:34] * Atticus has joined #NERVFrance
[00:39] <Atticus> "Alright. Then let me rephrase: do you want to attack her -right now-?"
[00:41] * Lulu`Haplo has joined #NERVFrance
[00:44] <Yanmei> "…" Yanmei hung her head a little. "Yes. At this very moment, I do."
[00:45] <Atticus> "There. Was that so hard?" He said lightly. "The first step to coping with your anger is being able to admit it."
[00:46] <Yanmei> "Oh." She paused. "First step, huh? There’s more?"
[00:47] <Atticus> "Of course. Now you have to tell me in -full detail- -why- you want to hurt her. Leave nothing out."
[00:57] <Yanmei> "Nothing out." Yanmei inhaled silently. "It shouldn't be like this? We started out being friendly to each other. Like, when we first started working here? It's like she forgets that. Ever since I got tied up in school elections, there's been a… disconnection? Like I was doing something wrong by having fun with that stuff." -
[01:04] <Yanmei> "Sorry. I'll be more relevant? She's scared of getting hurt. That's what she's said before, and that's what she said just recently. Like… I know I've hurt people by accident? And intentionally… it's like she's ignoring everything I'm doing to make sure it doesn't -happen- intentionally. She wants to be treated with kid gloves or something, but I'm already doing that, and she doesn't even realize it. So why should I bother holding back at all?-"
[01:05] <Yanmei> - bother holding back at all?" -
[01:13] <Yanmei> "And the invasiveness! Did you know that she put together a program to 'fix' all the pilots? As if she's a trained specialist or something? As if there was something wrong with… alright, I'll admit that some of them have their problems. But what's wrong with me? Is it so obvious when I'm angry at something, even when I'm doing my best to hide it?"-
[01:15] <Yanmei> "Did she even comprehend that there might be a reason -why- I hide it? And then to get that sad look on her face when I told her I didn't want her help. Like I'm the bad guy here? Like I'm supposed to feel bad for saying 'no thanks'?"-
[01:30] <Yanmei> "Today she was all mopey because I didn't give her hugs and kisses when she was feeling down. And then she and the Major… they attacked me for it! To demand it! To expect it! To believe that someone who doesn't give it up right away is in the wrong! She's the entitled one! A needy and pathetic child!"-
[01:38] * Yanmei was vaguely aware that her voice was rising, and she gave pause, settling back against her wall. "Nothing I do is right. I don't know what the hell she wants - for me to be nice to her, but for me to be myself? What the hell does that even mean?"-
[01:46] <Yanmei> "And then she comes along with this list of assumptions about the way I act, the way I think, that's so completely wrong that…" For a minute, a red mist threatened to descend. "Does it even matter what I act like anymore?"
[01:49] * Atticus lets out a low whistle over the phone. "This has really got your goat, huh? I'm not even sure what to say in response to that." A pause. "Alright, let me think. So, you're angry because she misjudges you and tends to act like she knows what's right for you?"
[01:51] <Yanmei> "You…" She almost flushed with embarrassment at that. "You're awfully concise. Yes."
[01:52] <Atticus> "That's all part of the Nelson charm~" She could almost hear him smiling. "Anyway. Let's talk about this. I know the 'know what's right' thing can really piss people off. And you think it has something to do with your anger?"
[01:54] <Yanmei> "It's a big part of it."
[01:56] <Atticus> "Well, let's see. What does Aline do when she has a problem or needs to cope with something?"
[02:01] <Yanmei> "Mopes? Cries to someone?" Yanmei shrugged. "She's down a fair amount. I can't blame for for her difficulties right now, since they -are- pretty heavy. But that's what I can gather based on what I see."
[02:02] <Atticus> "Oh? What's she got going on now anyway?"
[02:03] <Yanmei> "Her boyfriend was kidnapped."
[02:03] <Atticus> "…" Atticus lets out a low whistle. "Anyone important?"
[02:04] <Yanmei> "The… Sixth Child."
[02:07] <Atticus> "Khhk." There's a slight coughing noise on the other side of the line. "So they -were- together! I had my thoughts but I never really got around to fully… Damn." A pause. "Well, I have to admit. Losing your partner is a pretty big deal, but… Let me think! It sounds like she's a person who likes to talk about her problems and gets comfort. And what do -you- do when you have a problem or
[02:07] <Atticus> need to cope?"
[02:11] * Yanmei shifted uncomfortably. "Sometimes I'll talk to Isaiah about it. But when he wasn't around, I… just sort of… toughed it out."
[02:11] <Atticus> "Uh-huh. So outside of Isaiah, you don't really talk about your problems much."
[02:12] <Yanmei> "What's wrong with that?"
[02:12] <Atticus> "I'm not judging." Said Atticus hastily. "Don't be so defensive, ok? Just a yes or a no."
[02:13] <Yanmei> "Sorry. I didn't mean to… well, it's a yes."
[02:14] <Atticus> "Uh-huh. See, that's the problem! Not with you, just in general."
[02:15] <Yanmei> "Oh?"
[02:16] <Atticus> "See, there's a general thought that goes around in certain people's heads that bottling things up is -bad-, and that a person will be much happier if they spill it all."
[02:17] <Yanmei> "Do you follow this line of thought too, Captain?"
[02:18] * SyntaxTerror has joined #NERVFrance
[02:18] <Atticus> "Mmmmf, yes and no, I guess. I think people -should- talk about their problems, you know? But I don't think trying to bust those people open and force them is really helping. So long as you have one or two people like Isaiah to talk to, I don't see any problem from -my- perspective."
[02:22] * Yanmei nodded on her end. "Do you talk to Mr Nagisa about your problems?" That guy… he creeped her the hell out, but Atticus seemed to like him.
[02:24] <Atticus> "I do! He can be very therapeutic. He always listens and he knows what to say. He really is quite wonderful. I should introduce you two some day in a real capacity."
[02:26] <Yanmei> "Ah… we've… talked a few times. He's quite a guy." Quite a -creepy- guy.
[02:27] <Atticus> "Isn't he~?" A pause. "… He didn't make any passes at you, did he?"
[02:27] <Yanmei> "Huh? No way! Why are you asking?"
[02:29] <Atticus> "… Did you make a pass at -him-? You totally did, didn't you?"
[02:31] <Yanmei> "Wait, what?! No! What are you even…?"
[02:32] <Atticus> "Juuust checking." Teased Atticus. "Kaworu can be -quite- charming when he wants to be. He has the whole 'pretty boy' thing going on, too. I just figured, I mean…~"
[02:34] * Yanmei smoothed her hair down. She was glad he wasn't around to see her bewilderment, because that surely would have led to more teasing. "We were totally professional to each other," she said in a firm voice. "Don't tell me that he's been making passes at the ladies in the Air Force.
[02:35] <Atticus> "Usually the other way around. But hey, look, tell you what. Kaworu is out right now- I think he said he had to visit a friend- but the two of you totally need to go out together."
[02:39] <Yanmei> "This isn't the sort of behavior that I would expect from someone who surprise-kissed me," more teasing, even if he couldn't see her. She grinned, nervously. "A-anyway, I'm not all that attracted to him."
[02:40] <Atticus> "Damn." Muttered Atticus. "Fontaine has you wrapped around his little finger still."
[02:40] <Yanmei> "Stop talking to Dorian!"
[02:41] <Atticus> "But it's fu~nny~!"
[02:41] <Yanmei> "Urgh. It's gross, is what it is!"
[02:42] <Atticus> "Oh, you wanna see gross? You should see the ~list~."
[02:43] <Yanmei> "~List~?" She caught herself. "I mean, list?"
[02:44] <Atticus> "A list of potential partners you might find yourself engaged with. It was something the Major and I found hilarious~! Did you know Asuka is on that list? Fantastic."
[02:48] <Yanmei> "As… Wh.. what? What?! Y-" … "Captain? Could you do me a favor?"
[02:49] <Atticus> "What might that me~?"
[02:50] <Yanmei> "I need you to burn that thing. Right now!"
[02:50] <Atticus> "Not a chance! After all, it's on the internet by now…"
[02:51] <Yanmei> "N-noooo!"
[02:52] <Atticus> Evil laughter from the other side of the phone. "I'm kidding! I'm kidding. Do you feel any better?"
[02:56] <Yanmei> "Better?" It took a few seconds for the news to sink in. "I don't know how I feel. Not as wrathful? Please don't try to give me any more heart attacks, though."
[02:57] <Atticus> "Heehee." He paused. "No, I mean. Do you feel angry?"
[02:59] <Yanmei> "I've… calmed down." She straightened up, pushing away from the wall. "Thanks for that. I'm glad we could talk.'
[02:59] <Atticus> "I don't mind." said Atticus cheerfully. "Glad to help out. Don't be a stranger."
[03:00] <Yanmei> "Right. Erm. You can call me too sometimes, you know?"
[03:00] <Atticus> "But that would make all the stalking meaningless."
[03:02] <Yanmei> "Geeze, you're teasing a lot today," she smirked. He -was- teasing, wasn't he?
[03:03] <Atticus> "Teasing?" He asked innocently.
[03:03] <Yanmei> "…"
[03:04] <Atticus> "Hahahaha." Atticus cackles. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! I don't even know where you live. Kaworu does, though."
[03:05] <Yanmei> "Haha." … "Er. Did you say he was going to visit a friend?"
[03:05] <Atticus> "Mmmhm. he left about two hours ago."
[03:06] <Yanmei> "Gottago! Thank you, Atticus!" She was already scampering down the sidewalk.
[03:06] <Atticus> "Huh, really-?"

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