For Stories From The Eyes Of God

[20:56] * Sept was walking the unending halls of the NERV Paris headquarters and humming, very quietly. He was lost in thought, a condition outwardly identical to spacing out, yet quite opposite to it. Being lost in thought didn't suit Sept quite as well, but recently he had found himself doing so more and more often. Time passed, and he found himself, accidentally or not, at a door. The door of
[20:56] * Sept someone whose job it was to think various thoughts, but never get lost in them. And often even to guide others through them.-
[20:56] * Sept knocked on the door belonging to Jeanne.
[20:58] <Jeanne> "Come in!"
[21:00] * Sept came in. "Hello, Jeanne." Taking the initiative, he also took a seat! "How's work?"
[21:02] * Jeanne quickly shifted as Sept came in, taking her feet off the desk and stashing what looked suspiciously like a comic book in a desk drawer.-
[21:03] <Jeanne> "Busy, as always. God's in his heaven but his eyes are down here, as they say, and it's a lot of work seeing everything." She said professionally.
[21:06] <Sept> "I'm sure it is! But I'm sure there's always something interesting, too~ If I can amuse myself on streets and sunsets for years, surely you have even better things here!"
[21:08] <Jeanne> "…" She pauses. A sidelong look left to right. "Weeeelll…."
[21:09] * Sept grins slightly impatiently. "Well?"
[21:14] <Jeanne> "Ok. So. There's this guy. A parliamentarian."
[21:16] <Sept> "Mmhm." Sera leans in.
[21:16] <Jeanne> "Guess what we saw him doing today?"
[21:18] <Sept> "…I don't know. Bribes? Blackmail? -Murder-?"
[21:19] <Jeanne> "Getting closer."
[21:21] * Sept gasps in overdramatic shock. "Did he hire a hitman to kill his entire family so he could cash in their life insurance and gain the voters' sympathies?"
[21:21] <Jeanne> "… Not quite, but again, somewhat closer."
[21:22] <Sept> "Did he hire a hitman to kill -the entire parliament- so he could rule by himself?!"
[21:30] * Jeanne lets out a cackle. "Nope, you've gone too far. Wanna hear what happened?"
[21:33] <Sept> "No, wait." Sera looked around for hints, and pondered for a while longer. "…alright. What happened, Jeanne?"
[21:34] <Jeanne> "He hired certain unsavoury individuals to dig up dirt on a rival in parliament. Unfortunately for him, the individuals -were- hitmen." She winked. "They were Mafia."
[21:38] <Sept> "Oooh!" He resisted the urge to clap his hands in excitement. "What happened?"
[21:41] * Jeanne smirks and leans back. "Well… That was, oh, two hours ago? I put in a notice to the Presidential Guards and the local police agencies… Gave the required tapes…" A mean little grin.
[21:45] * Sept pouted. "You just exposed him? No blackmail or anything..?"
[21:47] <Jeanne> "Can't do that. We have an agreement with the Government. We expose crooked parliamentarians, they overlook Section 2's extracurricular activities. Besides, jerk deserved it."
[21:48] <Sept> "He did, and. I guess you're right. That's very… -professional- of you, Jeanne."
[21:49] <Jeanne> "… What, are you saying I'm not a professional?"
[21:51] <Sept> "No, I'm saying I probably couldn't be as professional as you were in that situation…"
[21:52] <Jeanne> "Oh. What would you have done?"
[21:55] <Sept> "I would've… taught him a lesson, at least. Something to teach him to stay away from politics. I don't know they'll react to the information, but… they probably won't make enough of an example out of him! It'll just be the one person dealt with."
[22:01] <Jeanne> "Taught him a lesson, huh." Jeanne stretched luxuriously. "What, are you Batman or something?"
[22:01] <Sept> "Batman?"
[22:02] * Jeanne has this look on her face, like Sept had just set fire to her prize poodle. "… Batman. You know Batman? Oh God, please…"
[22:07] <Sept> Bewilderment crept into Sera's expression. "Uh no there's a lot of things I don't know I'm sorry"
[22:07] <Jeanne> "…" Jeanne rubs her forehead. "Alright. Look. It's time for -education-. Ok, Sera?"
[22:09] * Sept nodded resolutely. -It's what Elisha would want.- "Okay."
[22:10] <Jeanne> "Batman is a comic book character from the United States, ok?"
[22:14] <Sept> "Okay. So he speaks English."
[22:14] <Jeanne> "That's right. See, he's a vigilante."
[22:18] <Sept> "A vigilante. So he's outside the law… Oh, yeah, I see the comparison. What exactly does he do, then?"
[22:23] <Jeanne> "Well. As a young boy, he witnessed his parents get shot by a mugger. He inherited their fortune, so…" Jeanne's eyes light up. "He became the Batman! By day he is Bruce Wayne, a rich playboy- by night he swoops the streets and rooftops of Gotham City, dressed in his special cape and bat-armor, bringing evildoers and criminals to justice!"
[22:36] * Sept sat still for a moment as his imagination ran its course. "Hmm. Sounds like a fun story! Do you think I should get a special cape and armor? Wait, no. Do you think -Dorian- should?"
[22:37] <Jeanne> "… Well, Batman swings around using grappling hooks and the like. Don't think Dorian would qualify." She frowned. "Why Dorian, anyway?"
[22:38] <Sept> "I think he'd fit the rich playboy part better." His eyes lit up. "Maybe we should team up?!"
[22:39] * Jeanne started to laugh. "Oh man. Come on, Sera. You don't want to be a rich playboy?"
[22:43] * Sept blushed. "It's not that I- He's just- I'm fine, Jeanne."
[22:44] * Jeanne grinned, smelling blood. "So you want to be one of -those- boys, huh~?"
[22:45] <Sept> "Th-t-those boys?? WhatdoyoumeanJeanneI'mnotwhatisthis"
[22:46] * Jeanne leaned forward now. "Mmmhmm. The boys with all the girls~ You know the type!~"
[22:49] * Sept looked away! He was cornered and there was nothing he could do about it. "N-no! That's not right, where are you getting this information?"
[22:50] * Jeanne put both of her elbows on the desk, leaning on her hands. "And so fond of the ~older ladies~…"
[22:53] * Sept squeezed closer to the back of the chair. "Wha n-no can you even talk about her like that don't you work for her"
[22:54] * Jeanne stares at Sept. Staaaaaaaaaaaaaares. "Oh God, what would Alex say~?!"
[23:01] <Sept> "Alexandre would, no, he'd understand we're friends I MEAN NO GO AWAY" Sept -crashed- backwards on his chair, scrambling back up and pointing at Jeanne, his face redder than EVA-02. "I didn't say that!"
[23:02] * Jeanne gets up out of her chair, leaning over the desk, pointing down at Sept. "YOU LITTLE PLAYBOY!"
[23:09] * Sept re-counterpointed! "YOU! I, I!" There was a definite space for words there, and all the accompanying gestures were present. But the words didn't come. So Sept just stood there, pointing, feeling the uncomfortable warmth of the blush, pulsing. Maybe if he could keep it up long enough, he'd win? Somehow?
[23:11] <Jeanne> "So what's it like~?"
[23:12] <Sept> "Wh-what's what like..?" His voice was quiet, and careful.
[23:13] * Sept is still pointing, idly.
[23:13] * Jeanne is also still pointing. "Dating -her-. Or is it more…~?"
[23:19] * Sept looked down slightly. "It's… nice. She's very kind. And she knows about so many beautiful things, like so much music and the Valley and… and I couldn't keep her safe." The finger descended.
[23:20] <Jeanne> "…" Jeanne paused, about to cry 'you admit it' when she realised that this didn't quite synch up. She sat back down, a little awkwardly, sadly. "Ah… This is Viviane…?"
[23:22] <Sept> "Yeah. I know we could get her back safely, but it doesn't help if we don't know where she is…"
[23:23] <Jeanne> "… I'm doing my best, Sera. You have my word on that."
[23:25] <Sept> "Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean. Of course you are! If anyone can find her, you can. And when you do, we'll be ready."
[23:28] * Jeanne nodded. "Right. …" She tries to inject a little levity in. "Are you gonna wear a Batman costume?" She asks hopefully.
[23:33] <Sept> "Oh, I think it might raise too much attention. Although, I guess Viviane would know it was me..?" Sera thought aloud while calmly inspecting the chair, flipping it turn-wise and sitting back down. "I bet Dorian would come along if he got to wear one, though. You should tell him! It does good to try something different sometimes. …or so I hear."
[23:34] <Jeanne> "We'd have to get Dorian a yellow hoverchair."
[23:36] <Sept> "Ooh! And matching rifles~"
[23:36] <Jeanne> "Oh no, come now. Batman doesn't use guns! And he doesn't kill."
[23:39] <Sept> "Ah..? I guess Dorian wouldn't need to~"
[23:40] <Jeanne> "Wouldn't need to kill?"
[00:23] <Sept> "Yeah, I bet he could just flash a -scary face- and they'd surrender!"
[00:24] <Jeanne> "…" Jeanne peers at Sept. "How did you know about the events of January 4th?"
[00:27] <Sept> "January..?" Sept cocked his head.
[00:27] <Jeanne> … Did the room become a little darker? "It was a dark and stormy night."
[00:33] * Sept sits up straight from his earlier semi-slump. "Yes?" he urged her quietly.
[00:34] <Jeanne> "The setting: an apartment building, within the Geofront Apartment cluster." She leaned forward. The room did seem really dark. "Two men -plotted-."
[00:35] * Sept glanced at the door. "Practically right next to us… Who were they?"
[00:36] <Jeanne> "Thieves. Of the darkest of hearts. Of the worst of intentions." Her face grew wrathful. "They were /ex-taxmen/."
[00:39] * Sept could've sworn he'd heard a lightning strike somewhere in the distance. "Oh, no!"
[00:40] <Jeanne> "Oh -yes-." Said Jeanne darkly, leaning towards Sept. "And their target: none other than the Captain of NERV's Operations Division, DORIAN LACHAPELLE!"
[00:43] <Sept> "Dorian? But whatever could they want from him? He doesn't have untold riches, or a magnificent estate they could tax, does he?"
[00:44] <Jeanne> "No. But he does have one thing that they couldn't find anywhere else." She clenched a fist. "His pride as a man! His honour as a soldier! And his reputation as a genius! And it was this they intended to steal!"
[00:46] <Sept> "So nefarious…" Sera whispered.
[00:48] <Jeanne> "So nefarious." Repeated Jeanne. "Do you know how they intended to steal these things?"
[00:51] <Sept> "I don't. They couldn't just take it like tax money, could they? They'd have to use some kind of -horrible trickery-…"
[00:53] <Jeanne> "That's right. Horrible trickery. First!" A finger. "They'd break in and steal his razor blade kit, which he uses to keep his moustache tidy and neat. Without it, his hair would grow wild and untamed, and he'd lose all pride as a man!"
[00:55] <Sept> "But surely his honour and reputation..?"
[00:55] <Jeanne> "That was next! They'd steal his old French Army general's uniform- without which, he'd lose all of the honour and glory he'd attained! And last but not least…" She paused dramatically. "… They'd steal his degree from Saint-Cyr."
[01:01] * Sept brought his hands up to his chest. "But… but what would he have left, then? Could anything restore the broken, hollow husk of a man that would be left?"
[01:01] <Jeanne> "No." A sad, sad look. "Without that he would have no choice but to become a -hermit-."
[01:05] <Sept> "Oh… Then, what happened?"
[01:05] <Jeanne> "They broke into the house! And do you know what they found?"
[01:07] <Sept> "Dorian snuggling with Ariadne?"
[01:07] <Jeanne> "Y-" Jeanne stopped. "What?"
[01:07] <Sept> "Nevermind. Continue."
[01:08] <Jeanne> "A-Ahem." She paused for a moment, before continuing. "They found… A TRAP."
[01:11] <Sept> "It was a trap?!" Admiral de Pteres gasped.
[01:12] <Jeanne> "A trap! For do you know what they found there? Dorian Lachapelle." She glowered in horror. "AND HE WAS WEARING HIS SCARY FACE!"
[01:14] <Sept> "What did they do? They didn't stay there, surely? -Surely- they knew not to look him in the eyes?!"
[01:17] <Jeanne> "THEY LOOKED RIGHT INTO HIS EYES!" Gasped Jeanne.
[01:18] <Sept> "Ah…" Sera looked down. "Was it a quick death?"
[01:19] <Jeanne> "No." Murmured Jeanne. "He used his dark powers to place upon them a curse."
[01:19] * Sept edged forth. "What kind of curse?"
[01:19] <Jeanne> "He made them join the seminary."
[01:20] <Sept> "Seminary?! Do you mean… THE seminary?"
[01:20] <Jeanne> "The very same!"
[01:22] <Sept> "…sorry, I got carried away. What seminary?"
[01:23] <Jeanne> "…" Jeanne paused. "The Catholic Seminary on Loire Street."
[01:23] <Sept> "Oh. That's not a good place."
[01:24] <Jeanne> "It's better than being petrified to death by the gimlet eyes of Dorian Lachapelle."
[01:25] <Sept> "Of course. Any fate is preferable to that."
[01:27] <Jeanne> "Indeed." Jeanne leaned back in her chair and stretched. "And that's what happened on January the 4th."
[01:29] * Sept leaned back as well. He stared off into space, letting the story sink in. "I had no idea…"
[01:30] <Jeanne> "No idea? Well now you do." Jeanne nodded. Suddenly it seemed much lighter in the room. "I hope you're ready for more stories~"
[01:35] * Sept shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, Jeanne, I think I'll need a break for now. But I'll be back soon!" Sept started toward the door, but stopped. "You're sure this isn't interfering with your work?"
[01:36] <Jeanne> [The moment Sept left the chair he'd find himself staring INTO THE EYES OF DORIAN LACHAPELLE.]
[01:38] * Sept screamed, covering his eyes mid-backward stumble. He was soon on the floor in something vaguely resembling fetal position. "You can't trick me!"
[01:39] <Jeanne> ["…" Dorian looked up at Jeanne with a dirty look. "Get up, Sept."]
[01:41] <Sept> "Y-yes, Dorian." Sera mostly looked ashamed, though if you looked hard, there was a twitch in the corner of his mouth betraying a grin in hiding.
[01:42] <Jeanne> ["'Do you mean -The- Seminary'?" mimicked Dorian, rolling his eyes behind his shades. "C'mon. We need to do some tests with 01."]
[01:46] * Sept blushed a little at Dorian's strikingly inaccurate imitation. "Right. Let's." On his way out, Sept briefly glanced back toward the Lady Simon. He mouthed the word "Soon" silently, grinned, and followed Dorian out of the office.
[01:48] * Jeanne winked back, and waved as the boy went.

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