Gendo And Raphael

[14:32] <AdEvaGM> [Rei's Funeral.-
[14:40] <AdEvaGM> [Gendo walked out of the open parlour doors, hands in his pockets. He walked across the grass to a small bluff overlooking the garden. He didn't turn around as Chiisana hobbled out after him, arm in arm with Raphael.]
[14:53] <Raphael> It takes the two of them a good deal longer to reach him, but Raphael doesn't do anything to rush her. In fact, in the time it's taken to leave the parlour he seems to have slipped back into a daze, more aware of the muted sound of voices from back inside the church than Gendo, or even Chiisana…
[14:54] <AdEvaGM> ["Aren't you going to look at me?" Asked Chiisana, bitterly.-
[14:54] <AdEvaGM> ["Would it change anything?" He asked promptly.-
[14:55] <AdEvaGM> ["Is that your answer for everything?" Asked Chiisana. "Do you really divide the world into things you can change and things you can't?"-
[14:55] <AdEvaGM> ["It's as sane a method as any."-
[14:57] <AdEvaGM> ["Hah. That's your problem." Said Chiisana. "You catalogue everything, more like a machine than a human being. You're not even sad today, are you?"-
[14:57] <AdEvaGM> ["Rei is dead. You have to get over it."]
[15:09] <Raphael> "That doesn't answer the question." Raphael says, speaking up before he even realizes it. His stare is on Gendo now, really seeing him, all the hate and fury he's spent all these years hiding behind veils of loyalty laid bare.
[15:12] <AdEvaGM> ["I have no use for answers to pointless questions." Said Gendo, turning around finally, his eyes hidden by those opaque lenses.-
[15:14] <AdEvaGM> ["I'm dying." Said Chiisana, a furious steel entering her eyes. The weak, fading woman seemed to momentarily appear as the fierce valkyrie she'd been just a few years ago. "You owe me at least that. You owe me a hell of a lot- you owed us -all- a lot. I'm the last. The last of the Ayanamis- I've watched each of my sisters wither and die, each dying in agony as their organs collapsed. I sworeI'd be the last, just to look you in the eye and make you account for it all."]
[15:25] * Raphael has to look away at that, his eyes suddenly burning.-
[15:25] <Raphael> He’d been there the first time Chiisana had made that promise to Rei, a little less than a year ago - after Juu’s funeral. Not even then, dying in pain he couldn’t imagine and her fate all but certain, had she let Chiisana place the blame on Gendo. And not even in the face of Chiisana’s increasing rage had the calm smile left her face. The memory almost made him miss her more than
[15:25] <Raphael> he could bear.
[15:27] <AdEvaGM> ["I don't have time for this. Do whatever you want, if it makes you feel better." Said Gendo, almost bored.]
[15:42] <Raphael> "Shut up, Gendo." Raphael said flatly. His face is still and calm… for the first time in months he seems like his old self. "For once this isn’t about you or what you want."
[15:42] <AdEvaGM> ["Then don't involve me in it." He turned and began to walk away.]
[15:53] <Raphael> There's an odd buzzing in his ears now, making it hard to think. All he knows is that his hands are curling into fists as he gently unhooks his arm from Chiisana's and steps forward.-
[15:53] <Raphael> He throws the first punch a moment later, splintering the lenses of Gendo’s glasses with a crunch and leaving his knuckles bloodied.
[15:56] <AdEvaGM> ["Wait, Raphael-" begins Chiisana, but she's too late to stop the punch.-
[15:56] <AdEvaGM> [Gendo stumbles backwards, the shattered lenses no longer reflecting that light. A second passes, then another, and the glasses eventually fall from his face onto the ground.-
[15:58] <AdEvaGM> [Gendo's blue eyes are wide in shock and pain- not a physical one. At that very moment, he looks strikingly like Shinji.-
[16:00] <AdEvaGM> [But the next second his face is contorted into utter fury. With a yell he leaps across and, with surprising speed and strength, grabs Raphael's lapels one-handed; with his other hand he returns Raphael's punch with interest.-
[16:04] <AdEvaGM> ["You holier-than-thou imbecile." Mutters Gendo, his voice shaking with anger and emotion- so different it is to his usual abruptness. "You stand there and look at me with that contempt in your eyes, that hatred, and you dare to judge yourself a better man! You look at me and deem me- a monster, for what I've done, for how I act, and you pat yourself on the back and feel so secure in your superiority. How dare you. How dare you to think yourself somehow better."-
[16:08] <AdEvaGM> ["How dare you stand there and condemn me, wearing that face." Spits Gendo, his voice starting to crack, its tone raw and angry and pained and full of anguish. "How dare you for seeing me as less than human."]
[16:29] <Raphael> "I don’t think you’re a monster, Commander." Raphael says, spitting blood with his newly-split lip drawn up in a snarl. He drives another fist into Ikari’s belly. "I think you’re an -idiot-. You are a tiny, stupid man who dreamed of greatness that never came, and you’re too damned pathetic to admit your own mistakes."-
[16:29] <Raphael> "I really don’t care who’s the better man here, Ikari. I really don't give a damn about your reasons. All I know is that she died asking for -you-."
[16:36] <AdEvaGM> [Gendo doubles over in pain, clearly winded. He sinks to his knees, taking deep gasps of air.-
[16:39] <AdEvaGM> ["I tried. I tried for so long to save her." Groans Gendo, a hand clutching his stomach. "Everything I knew, everything I could do, none of it was any good. Was there a way to save her? I don't know. I couldn't. I couldn't save her this time." His breathing became less laboured. "I could… Never save her."]
[16:45] * Raphael makes a quiet, disgusted noise, staring down at Gendo as he wipes his bloody lip with the back of his hand. "So you let them all die thinking you didn't care." He growls. "And now you'd do the same to Chiisana."
[16:53] <AdEvaGM> ["It would only have made things worse." Says Gendo quietly. "To stare at them, unable to help them, seeing that death over and over again…"-
[16:53] <AdEvaGM> ["Raphael." Says Chiisana quietly.]
[17:08] * Raphael is shaking, hands still flexing gently as he watches the pitiful figure. There was something cold and dangerous in his stare now… Some knowledge of how easy it would be to lash out again - to make this man bear the full weight of all of Raphael's grief.-
[17:09] <Raphael> "… Yes, Miss Chiisana?" He doesn't turn.
[17:10] <AdEvaGM> ["There's nothing left here." She said gently. "Leave him. I am tired from all this."]
[17:15] <Raphael> "…" There's no response other than silence for a long, long time, but slowly the shaking begins to ease. Some time after that he finally turns, looking pale and exhausted. "… Of course, Miss Chiisana. Pardon me."
[17:15] * Raphael offers his arm again.
[17:16] <AdEvaGM> [She takes it, and with her cane gestures towards the gardens, with their benches. "Do you mind if we sit there for awhile? I'm not yet ready to reenter, I'm afraid…"]
[17:18] * Raphael nods gently, leading her away without a word. He doesn't look back.
[17:21] <AdEvaGM> [Before long, they're sitting on a bench together, Chiisana staring out at the flowers.-
[17:21] <AdEvaGM> ["You wanted to hurt him. Very badly, no doubt."]
[17:22] <Raphael> "Yes." He says gently. Was there really any point in denying it?
[17:29] <AdEvaGM> ["I did, too." Said Chiisana. "For many reasons." She sighed. "I hated that he never looked at me. He always saw her…"]
[17:37] * Raphael nods slowly, slouching with his hands in his lap. "He never saw any of you, not really." Raphael murmurs. "What you were to him… I could never really work it out, to tell you the truth."
[17:39] <AdEvaGM> ["I'm not sure what we were at first." Said Chiisana. "But what we became were reminders."]
[17:46] <Raphael> "… I wanted more for you girls than that." He says quietly.
[17:50] <AdEvaGM> ["So did we." Said Chiisana, smiling ruefully. "I didn't want to be a shadow, or a copy. I wanted to be my own person."-
[17:51] <AdEvaGM> ["I had plans. Things to do, to see, goals."-
[17:53] <AdEvaGM> ["Oh, well." She said with a sad sigh. "I should be grateful for this life. For what time I had. I'm not sure I would have had it otherwise. This is the first time the Disciples of Lilith have lived for a billion years. It was worth the wait."]
[18:02] * Raphael smiles just slightly. "For what it’s worth, Miss Chiisana, you weren’t a shadow to me."
[18:03] <AdEvaGM> [She reaches over and fondly pats Raphael's hand. "You're a gentleman and an officer, Raphael Guillory."-
[18:05] <AdEvaGM> ["You know, right now I am holding my internal organs together mostly through the use of an AT Field." She said quietly. "I considered allocating that energy into a good, solid blast. Vaporise him into a little pile of ash."-
[18:06] <AdEvaGM> ["… But it wouldn't be worth it. Rei wouldn't want that. She'd say… So long as he's alive, he has the capacity to do good." Said Chiisana quietly. "And I realised that nothing I could do would really hurt him. Someone that pathetic tortures himself every day."]
[18:13] <Raphael> "Rei… She always was too naive for her own good." Raphael says gently, smiling even as a few tears begin to flow.
[18:15] <AdEvaGM> [Chiisana turns her pat into a handhold. She squeezes his hand as tightly as she can, which depressingly is about as tightly as Suzanne could. "Be the change you want to see in the world. Heh. Optimistic people like Rei have an answer for everything."-
[18:15] <AdEvaGM> ["I wonder where she is now. Where she's going. If she's been reborn, or resealed…"]
[18:28] * Raphael squeezes back, matching the pressure so as not to hurt her. "I hope she's been reborn. Of all the things I've learnt since this all began, reincarnation may be the one comforting one…"
[18:37] <AdEvaGM> ["If she has, her parents must be very lucky."-
[18:37] <AdEvaGM> [Chiisana tiredly rested her head on Raphael's shoulder. "Major Katsuragi is lucky to have you. In some other life in the future, I wouldn't mind having you for myself."]
[18:51] * Raphael chuckles weakly, his own eyes shut tight as he puts one arm around Chiisana's shoulders. "You'll find your own prince, ma'am, I'm sure."
[18:56] <AdEvaGM> ["I hope so." Her eyes closed. "I hope I can see Makoto again. Silly fool…" She said sadly.]
[19:06] <Raphael> "One day, Chiisana." He says gently. The sense of hurt had settled on his chest again, but his voice was steady and certain.
[19:11] <AdEvaGM> ["One day…"-
[19:11] <AdEvaGM> [And she stayed there, all too easily slipping into sleep.]

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