She Said I Ll Fight

[11:34] * Yanmei stared blankly at herself in a vanity mirror. She wasn't sure if she had spent the night sleeping, but there were big blank spots in her memory that indicated that she must have drifted off at some point. The face staring back at her was one she didn't recognise. Blotchy, with swollen eyes, hait in disarry. She tried to bring herself to care enough to reach for a brush or something, but that ended in failure.-
[11:34] <Yanmei> ^hair
[11:40] <Yanmei> Her fingers tightened around a cell phone - her personal phone, blanketed with silly pink decorations. She couldn't remember reaching for it, but at some point during the night it had made its way into her clutches. Now she thought about smashing it, eying the lump still resting in her bed in the mirror's reflection, wondering if a noise like that would wake him up.
[11:44] * Isaiah was still asleep, where he'd fallen into bed last night after carrying Yanmei home. Now his hand moved unconsciously, reaching out towards her side of the bed- but it couldn't find her.
[11:51] * Yanmei didn't go to him. It was funny, but times like this, when he was asleep and she was awake, gave her a bit of elbow room. Today she hadn't made much use of it, but anything was better than feeling the raw pain from yesterday, even if it meant being a zombie for a few hours. She gazed down at her phone again and gingerly placed it on the vanity.-
[11:54] <Yanmei> Breaking it was stupid. It wouldn't make a difference to anyone whether it stayed whole or not - it was just a stupid, unfeeling object. Anyway, if she did that, wouldn't it invite a flood of other things that she didn't want to feel? Regret for not saving the numbers still loaded onto it. For not dialing her mother's number, even though the thought of doing it made her ill.
[12:00] <Isaiah> [Outside, the red shape of EVA-02 stood tall amidst the city buildings. It had arrived half an hour ago, and support teams had built a makeshift support scaffold for it.]
[12:03] * Yanmei stared at it, a reminder of what she would have to handle if she got dressed and went back to HQ. She abruptly drifted back toward the bed. Let S2 come for her. She didn't care…
[12:07] * Isaiah continued to sleep, his hand withdrawing away from the edge of the bed towards his chest.
[12:11] * Yanmei watched him sleep, from his side now. After a while she climbed back into bead and tried to do the same, shutting her eyes. Sleep wouldn't come easily, though. In fact, it wouldsn't come at all. She rolled over, restlessly.
[12:12] <Isaiah> A hand reached out, touched her arm.
[12:15] * Yanmei didn't start, to her credit. She knew who it was, and even turned over to gaze at him again.
[12:16] * Isaiah held her arm for a moment longer, then… His own eyes opened as well, returned her gaze.
[12:20] * Yanmei felt a passing wave of embarassment for her appearence. It went deeper, too. He'd felt the things that she had felt yesterday, hadn't he?
[12:26] * Isaiah didn't smile, but there was a good deal of tenderness in his expression. He edged a little closer, his hand around her, pulling her towards him. "Yanyan…"
[12:30] <Yanmei> "Morning," she mumbled. A silly thing to say, but she had a hard time caring about that as well. Her voice sounded… raw. Tired.
[12:32] <Isaiah> "How… Are you feeling?"
[12:34] <Yanmei> "Feeling? Well." She closed her eyes, trying to figure out how to answer that. "I don't know."
[12:37] * Isaiah nodded slowly, a hand brushing away a lock of her hair so he could see her face better. "Well, that's alright."
[12:40] <Yanmei> "What about you? What are you thinking?"
[12:47] <Isaiah> "I'm thinking about a lot of things." He said quietly. "I'm thinking of… You, mostly."
[12:51] <Yanmei> "I'll bet," she mumbled. For a little while, she turned and stared up at the ceiling. "Maybe we should try to make breakfast?"
[12:52] <Isaiah> "Do you want to?"
[12:53] <Yanmei> "…I'm not very hungry," she admitted.
[12:56] * Isaiah nodded slowly. "I'm not either." He was quiet for a moment, then… "You don't have to do anything you don't feel like doing." He said.
[13:01] <Yanmei> "That's not true, is it?" A bitter smile came to her. "EVA-02 is outside. They're already planning something."
[13:03] <Isaiah> "…" Isaiah's expression didn't change. "Alright. Then… I'm not going to make you do anything, sweetheart."
[13:07] <Yanmei> "Thank you." She curled deeper beneath the blankets. "Then I'm going to stay here. And maybe run later?" Running always made her feel better. But now a little ripple of dread went through her at the word, and it took her a moment to identify why. "They're gone…"
[13:08] * Isaiah … closed his eyes, sadness flooding through him. He shifted towards her, tightening his grip. "I… I'm so sorry…"
[13:13] <Yanmei> "Ju… Lanfen." As soon as she said the names, she wished she hadn't. She curled up tighter. "Everyone's…"
[13:15] <Isaiah> "…" Isaiah put his hands around her's. He wanted to tell her -something-, anything. He wanted to tell her they could still be alive, or… Or something. But… But it would be cruel to give her such a slim hope.
[13:19] <Yanmei> It was a short cry compared to the previous night. She could blame it on exhaustion. Her eyes stung so badly that she had to hold them closed, even after the actual tears stopped. "What do I do?" she mumbled. "I don't know what I can…"
[13:29] <Isaiah> "I… I don't know." Said Isaiah quietly. "Sweetheart, I… I don't know. We need time. But… But for now we need to try not to give up."
[13:40] * Yanmei nodded to herself quietly. Not give up. Her mom wouldn't stand for something like that. In silence, she struggled a bit more.
[13:42] <Isaiah> "Yanmei?"
[13:43] <Yanmei> "Yes?"
[13:45] <Isaiah> "… Look at me for a second, alright?"
[13:46] * Yanmei opened her eyes and found his own blue ones.
[13:51] <Isaiah> "I love you." He said quietly, staring at her. "I love you so, so much. And I know you're hurting. I can feel you hurting… B-But you're not hurting alone. You're not alone, sweetheart." He placed his forehead against her's. "You'll never be alone."
[13:55] <Yanmei> "I know," she whispered. "I know that." There was another fragile swell of emotion surging up behind her eyes, a little different from what she'd gone through so far. It was a realization. "Is it, like… almost like you've felt this pain before?"
[13:58] * Isaiah nodded quietly.
[14:00] <Yanmei> "I'm sorry," she mumbled. "Making you relive that…"
[14:04] <Isaiah> "Don't." Said Isaiah. "Don't even say that. This isn't about me." He said. A warm hand brushed her cheek. "It doesn't matter what I feel. What matters is that I'm here for you, now, and forever. So even though you're in pain, sweetheart… You're safe here with me."
[14:10] <Yanmei> "Yeah." She closed her eyes again. "I feel safe. You were the one who dragged me here last night?" She recalled vaguely, like a half-remembered dream, getting ready to crawl off to someplace secluded at the Geofront for the night and then giving into the futility of the action. Even if she went off on her own, he would still feel her crying. They'd ended up back here instead. Marianne hadn't come home for the night herself,
[14:12] <Yanmei> - herself, but that was expected.
[14:20] <Isaiah> "Yeah. You were half asleep and almost out of it, so I carried you home."
[14:22] <Yanmei> "Where is everyone? Lizzie… Gina? Are they here too?"
[14:24] <Isaiah> "Gina's busy in the Geofront, and Rei took Lizzie to her place. Marianne's in NERV, too. A… A lot happened."
[14:28] <Yanmei> "A lot." She hut her eyes again. "Everyone's probably scared again. Like with Berlin-2."
[14:28] <Yanmei> ^shut
[14:29] <Isaiah> "People are scared. And angry…" He was quiet for a moment. "Fontaine's bringing all the Evas to Paris-2, but she had to resign to do it."
[14:32] <Yanmei> "Resign?" Puzzled. "Because they would have fried her over the Vatican Treaty otherwise?"
[14:33] <Isaiah> "Y-Yeah. I don't know the details, but it's some NERV power to ignore the Treaty, but the Director has to resign after they do it. Ikari's head now. He's already in Paris."
[14:35] <Yanmei> "Oh -god-. That guy…" Of course, that was the order the position bounced in. If only the VC had stayed the head a little longer…
[14:38] <Isaiah> "Yeah." Murmured Isaiah. "Every NERV branch is being emptied. Everyone's in the Geofront. Misato, Alexandre…"
[14:40] <Yanmei> "Everyone. I bet de Pteres is thrilled about now." She started to sit up again, brooding. "Isaiah?"
[14:41] * Isaiah came up with her. "What is it?"
[14:41] <Yanmei> "I want you to go to Elizabeth and stay with her. Protect her."
[14:43] <Isaiah> "With Elizabeth…?" Isaiah stared, then nodded. "Sure. Of course I will. I won't let her out of my sight."
[14:47] <Yanmei> "Thank you." He deserved a bit of a break himself, and Elizabeth kept him happy. There were other reasons too, of course. This was for the best. "Nothing against Rei? But if you're looking over her, I feel more at ease."
[14:52] <Isaiah> Isaiah nodded. "I understand. But…"
[14:52] <Yanmei> "But?"
[14:55] <Isaiah> "I'm worried about Lizzie, but… But I think she'll be ok. I-I… Want to help you. Right now I'm scared about you."
[15:02] * Yanmei glanced to the window, to the oppressive 02. "It's only a matter of time before I have to go back. If you and Elizabeth are okay and someplace where you won't get hurt, it will really help me out."
[15:08] * Isaiah was quiet for a moment. Then he nodded, looking down. "… Alright. I'll… I'll take us some place safe. I'll… Still be able to help you, even if I'm far away, right?"
[15:14] <Yanmei> "That's right, isn't it?" she nestled a little closer. "You've helped me out so much…" Her voice softened a little bit. "Thanks to that, I'll be okay. I promise you."
[15:22] <Isaiah> "I'll hold you to it." He said, smiling, tears running down his cheeks. "Y… Yanmei?"
[15:24] <Yanmei> "Yes?"
[15:25] <Isaiah> "I want to build a better world." He whispered. "A world where we can be happy, and in peace, where people don't have to be afraid of these sorts of things… I want to put an end to all this pain."
[15:27] <Yanmei> "That sounds like a really nice world." She smiled, but was a sad, weary smile, as if she might join him in crying again at any moment.
[15:34] * Isaiah secured his arms around Yanmei's waist. "I want you to help me build it, sweetheart. I want us to make the world a better place, because I… I know you can."
[15:38] <Yanmei> "Me?" She thought on it quietly. "If we beat the Angels, couldn't we live in that sort of world?"
[15:40] <Isaiah> "I think so." He said quietly, kissing her neck. "But even after they're dead, we should always try to make the world a better place, in our own ways. No matter how small our contributions might be, I… Want that dream to come true. For you."
[15:46] * Yanmei pulled her own arms around him. "I'll fight," she said, almost groggily. "My m-mom told me once that I was the hope that got her through Second Impact." Her eyes stung, but the tears held at bay. "I'll try," she said at last, only to correct herself. "I'll do it."
[15:57] <Isaiah> "I know. I trust you more than anyone else."-
[15:57] <Isaiah> A kiss. A warm, loving kiss, passionate and desperate from the welling-up of grief and sorrow.
[16:04] * Yanmei kissed back, and amid the swirl of confusion and sadness she felt, managed to echo his own warmth back at him too. Then she rested her head on her pillow. A little more rest. She would make herself get up and go to Command again after that.
[16:07] * Isaiah settled down with her as well. In this state of mind, perhaps no amount of sleep would erase the exhaustion that sorrow brought.

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