Thanatos Calls

[23:04] *Yanmei was tired. -
[23:07] <Yanmei> She had done many things that day. Chatted with Rei, settled matters concerning the Angelspawn, introduced Anthony Albus to the few technicians and Bridge crew members around who weren't scrambling desperately to prepare for the battle, and now this. -
[23:09] <Yanmei> Warm LCL was flowing in around her, filling the rest of the entry plug with the scent of blood. Her hands clutched the controls tightly. -
[23:13] <Yanmei> "…So I guess this means I'm going to be on standby during the battle?" she saying.
[23:20] <Minaplo> [("Maybe. Our repairs aren't 100% yet.") Came James's voice. ("If we can finish your repairs, then you'll be on standby- basically, if we feel the battle's winnable, but we're down on units, you'll be sent in to bolster the force…")-
[23:21] <Minaplo> ["(But fair warning, Major Wellesley's plan doesn't really go for the 40-metre-tall-samurai approach.")]
[23:25] <Yanmei> "Hey. I can do long range too?" She had to stop talking for a minute, as the LCL level rose swiftly past her neck and over her head.
[23:30] <Minaplo> [("He isn't looking for bolters here, he's looking for heavy artillery- cannons and things. You haven't received the training for that, have you?")]
[23:35] *Yanmei shook her head with a frown. It wasn't as if she couldn't wing it… probably.#
[23:39] <Minaplo> [("Heavy weapons like those are pretty complex. Depending on the type and build, you need to factor in things like the earth's magnetic field, the coriolis effect, more complex target-leading tactics, sophisticated mechanisms, the heavier weight of the weapon… Yeah, and we don't have unlimited numbers of big guns either, so.")]
[23:43] <Yanmei> "All right, already," she groaned, "I get it? It's not like I was planning on, like, winging it or something…" Damn it.
[23:44] <Minaplo> [("Good. Of course, you -could've- tried to learn to use all those shiny AT blasts, but…")]
[23:47] <Yanmei> "Maybe I could have if I'd -wanted- to," Yanmei huffed, tossing her hair.
[23:49] <Minaplo> [("They take people of a certain intelligence…")]
[23:50] <Yanmei> "W-what's that supposed to imply?!"
[23:54] <Minaplo> [("Beginning second phase connection…")-
[23:55] <Minaplo> [A sudden flash of kaleidoscopic images- sensory white noise as her nervous system adjusted.-
[23:55] <Minaplo> […-
[23:55] <Minaplo> [The hair on the back of her neck began to prick up. She couldn't explain it, but…]
[23:57] <Yanmei> "…" Yanmei had opened her mouth to complain at James' diversion… and it stayed open for a little while longer.#
[00:01] <Minaplo> [("Everything ok down there?")]
[00:04] <Yanmei> "It's we-" she turned her head sharply to the side as if she was trying to catch a glimpse of something.
[00:07] <Minaplo> [("Yanmei? What's wrong?")]
[00:09] <Yanmei> "Something's weird!" She shook her head. "You're not detecting anything unusual?"
[00:15] <Minaplo> […]
[00:15] <Yanmei> "James?"
[00:15] <Minaplo> […]
[10:20] <Yanmei> "…" She leaned back in her seat for a moment. Okay. Okay, stay calm. There were only two directions to go in from here: wait for them to figure out that something was wrong and to begin extraction, or try to resolve the issue herself. -
<Yanmei> She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate.
<Minaplo> […-
<Minaplo> [She smelled something.-
<Minaplo> [The smell of… herbs, spices and a sauce, with fresh rice, and the soothing scent of jasmine, carried to her by a cool breeze that tickled her face…]
<Yanmei> She opened her eyes slowly, confusion abundant in them.
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> [She was standing in a kitchen. Beneath her feet were tiles of pale, rosy pink; the cabinets and cupboards were creamy white, and a large chrome refrigerator stood in the corner. Before her was a stove, on which simmered a pot of her best curry.-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [The kitchen had a door, leading out into what looked like a living room- and another door that opened into a verandah overlooking the back yard.]
<Yanmei> Numbly, Yanmei reached out to switch off the stove. She stood over the pot, staring into it, trying to get her bearings. -
<Yanmei> It was the little things that assaulted her. The smell of the meal, the way the kitchen -felt-, the position of the door leading outside, and the anticipation of someone bursting cheerfully through it at any moment. Lizzie, returning from school. Isaiah, back from his job at the hospital. -
<Yanmei> Wrong time period. She backed away slowly, and tried to listen for voices, footsteps, signs of life from either exit.
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [Footsteps from the living room, rapid and light- coming down a staircase…]
<Yanmei> Yanmei panned the kitchen quickly, and then reigned in her urge to snatch up a weapon. Rapid and light… like a kid or careless teenager? She stepped through the door to greet that person.
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [There was in fact a little kid. He ran down the steps, got to the second one, then jumped, skipping the last step entirely.-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [He looked to be about four or five years old, maybe a little younger. He had short hair- violet, the same shade as Yanmei’s- and he had big, round blue eyes and a gentle face.-
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> [He was clutching a little EVA-04 figurine in his left hand. He froze when he saw Yanmei.]
*Yanmei froze up a little herself, staring. The hair. The doll. Familiar blue eyes. -
<Yanmei> Her heart was starting to pound. Another illusion? But she remembered her real life still so clearly. -
<Yanmei> "Hey," she finally managed.
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["H-Hi." He said, shifting guiltily.]
<Yanmei> "What are you up to?" Why did she say that? She wasn’t his mother!
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Oh, um… Um… I-I was just… C-Can I have a drink?"]
<Yanmei> She tried not to roll her eyes, but she turned away from him and went back into the kitchen toward the fridge. "Where did you get that figurine?"
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["Um… Lizzie lent it to me." He said, unconvincingly.]
<Yanmei> "Is that so?" she said dryly. Was there water in the fridge?
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [There was, as well as soft drinks, juices…-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["Yeah."]
<Yanmei> She pulled out the jug of water and poured a glass for him, which she held out with one hand. The other hand she held outstretched expectantly, palm-up. "Let’s trade."
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Trade? W-Why?"]
<Yanmei> "I just want to see it? For a few minutes, that’s all."
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["I-I’ll get it back, right, mum?"]
<Yanmei> She kept her face calm. "Certainly."
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Alright…"-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [He held it out.]
*Yanmei took it, placing the glass firmly in the child’s hand in exchange. She held it up for an examination. A clue. There had to be some clue on it, right?
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> [He began to sip from it, staring up at her with those big blue eyes…-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [It looked like an ordinary EVA-04 model.]
<Yanmei> Yanmei’s brow crinkled slightly, still going over it, a touch of desperation to her hand movement. "Where's your father?"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Dad? Um… I don’t know. Isn't he out with Lizzie?"]
<Yanmei> "Is he? She didn't mention where she was going today, did she?"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["I dunno…" The boy scratched the back of his neck.]
<Yanmei> Eventually, she handed the toy back to him, giving him a very serious look. "Don’t break it. And take it back to where you got it from when you're done? -Before- you come to eat dinner, understand?"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Yes, mum…"]
<Yanmei> "Are you finished with your drink?" She held her hand out for the glass.
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [He was. "C-Can I have a biscuit too?"]
<Yanmei> "You’ll spoil your appetite? It won't be long until the… the curry's ready. Now go play."
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["You can’t play with me?"]
<Yanmei> "I can't right now? I've got to search for something. Maybe later."
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> [He pouted, and latched onto Yanmei’s leg stubbornly. "Muuuuuum."]
<Yanmei> "Ugh. What's with you? Do you really want to play with your boring mother that badly?"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["You’re not boring! You're pretty and awesome and you always do cool stuff. C'mon, mum…"]
<Yanmei> "Go-" and then she stopped herself. Was the boy a clue himself? Or a diversion to keep her from finding what she needed? "Five minutes. That's all I can give you? I really do have to search for that thing."
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Yay! I love you, mum~ <3"]
<Yanmei> "Right, right." She set the water glass aside. "Take the lead…" she hesitated before making a giant leap of a guess, "Atticus-Kaworu?"
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [He seemed to respond to that. "Alright!"-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [He grabbed her hand and clumsily ran off up the steps. His bedroom door had a little plate bolted to the front, labelled ’Atty's Room'.-
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> [The room itself was colourful, with a dark purple bed with yellow stars on the pattern; a bunch of toys were scattered about, action figures (some of which were familiar), cars, planes… A small ginger cat was curled up asleep on a small bed in the corner.-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [A toy chest sat along one wall, opposite a bookshelf- some of the shelves had books, but others had photographs in frames…]
<Yanmei> She tried to take a closer look at those photographs, squinting slightly.
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [There were lots. One of Yanmei, Isaiah, a little girl with blonde hair and Atticus next to her…-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [There was one with Atticus, sitting on a bench, glowering at a red-headed boy who was trying to steal his cupcake…-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [There was another with Atticus asleep, clutching a familiar-looking military bear; snuggled up next to him was a little girl with light blue hair…-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [And another of Atticus being snuggled and hugged by Yanmei’s own mother.]
<Yanmei> All things she didn't remember at all. The pictures left a hollow feeling in her chest. At the last one, her finger twitched instinctively, reacting to an urge to pick it up and hold it a while.
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["C’mon, mum! Play! Play!"]
<Yanmei> "Sorry? Just getting nostalgic, kid." She turned back toward him, smiling. "What game do you want to play?"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["’Captain Caine Saves the World!'"]
<Yanmei> "W-what?"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["’Captain Caine', mum! Geez." He picked up a superhero figurine and waved it…-
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> [And Yanmei would realise it was Sera de Pteres she was looking at.]
<Yanmei> "You mean Captain de Pteres," she said slowly.
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["What? Captain deterrs? That’s a dumb name." He waved the figure aggressively. "Captain Caine!"]
<Yanmei> Why…? -
<Yanmei> When did he make Captain? Why did he start calling himself that? Was it Sera, or another Sera, or Joshua, or… was it -that- Caine? -
<Yanmei> "Want me to play Caine, then? Or do you want me to be a bad guy? I can play a pretty convincing one." She winked.
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Sure, mum." Said Atticus, running over to his toy box and pulling something out.-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["You can be the Marionette!"-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [He was holding in his hand a figurine- the mask, the empty eyes, the sword in its hand, the thin, distorted body…]
<Yanmei> A very real chill went through her. Even though it was just a lump of plastic, to was a little too surreal. Still, she wrapped a hand around it. "You start, okay? What’s the good Captain up to today?"
<Yanmei> ^it was a little
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["He’s watching over Paris-2, looking for bad guys!"]
*Yanmei nodded. She closed her eyes for just a moment, and then opened them. "While he does that, he sees something above him! The sky is growing dark and scary, and a dark shape drifts down from the clouds!" -
<Yanmei> "The air goes super cold, and all the innocent people watching feel their legs go weak with fear!"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Oh no! Captain Caine looks up, taking out his prog knife and grappling hook!"]
<Yanmei> "The Marionette lands on a building. He looks around at the helpless people below, trying to decide which one to stab first. He doesn’t notice the brave Captain just yet?"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Then the Captain fires his grappling hook at him! Rar!"-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [Atticus pointed the figurine’s left arm- which had a grappling hook, indeed- at the Marionette figure, launching the little projectile across the room.]
<Yanmei> Yanmei jerked the figurine to the side, narrowly avoiding it. "He noticed him now, definitely!" She cleared her throat, trying to imitate a voice she'd only heard in her head. -
<Yanmei> "'That almost hit, Lilim. I am surprised; your aptitude with those simple tools would surely impress one of your hirsute ancestors. Now… come up and face me in a proper duel!'"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> [Atticus screwed up his face. "What’s 'hirsuit' mean?"]
<Yanmei> "It means hairy." She paused. "And dumb? Like an ape."
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Oh."-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["’I'm not hairy and dumb!'" Says Atticus in an artificially deeper voice. "'I'm gonna stab you in the face!'"]
<Yanmei> "Foolish lilim! You may try, but you will fail! For I am a superior being and the greatest weapon in the universe!"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["RAR!"-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [Atticus leapt across the room, smashing the Atticus figurine roughly into Yanmei’s hand.]
<Yanmei> "GRRR!" She clashed back. "'You'll pay for that!'"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["’Stupid dumb Marionette!'" Now they were struggling, pushing against each other's hands…]
*Yanmei started to give, just a bit. "'What, no! How are you beating me? This is impossible!'"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["’Hurrrrrr! Super Power Ultimate Protector Attack: Lucifer Punch!'"]
<Yanmei> "'Oof! Arghh!'" Her hand -and the Marionette toy bounced back further, as if reeling from a blow. "'Curse you? I'm too honorable to run away even now. Dark Energy Slashing Beam!'"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["’Ablative Shield!'"]
<Yanmei> "'W-what?! More cheating lilim tricks?!'"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["’Yup! I can even block the sun with this, dumbface! Hurrrrgh!'" He pulled the figure back, slapping another sword into his hand. "'Mega Positron Thruster Blade!'"-
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> [A mighty thrust right into the Marionette’s face!]
<Yanmei> "'Nooo! I am slain!'" She slapped the toy onto the carpet, face first, moving it slightly still to give it the appearence of talking. "'But take heed, Captain Caine. I'm a creature beyond your comprehension? I'll take another stronger form soon, and I'll return to stab your friends and blow up your precious Lourve. Just you watch.'"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["’And I'll be there to beat you up even more, too. Now die!'"-
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> [He smashed the figure one last time with the positron blade.]
<Yanmei> "’Urk! *cough cough*Blargh.'" The figurine went still.
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Did I win?!"]
<Yanmei> "You did! The Captain saved the city! …for now."
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["Yay!" He dropped the figurine and leapt into Yanmei’s lap, wrapping his arms around her neck and resting his head on her shoulder. "You're the best, mum~ <3"]
<Yanmei> "…" Yanmei patted him on the head with one hand and wrapped the other around him to give him a quick squeeze. "My pleasure? Glad you had fun."
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> [He snuggled closer. "I love you, mum~"]
<Yanmei> "You too, Atty." She patted him on the back. "Now c’mon, let me up. I still have that work to do, and you should probably start eating dinner too."
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Mmmn… Alright." But he moved only reluctantly.]
<Yanmei> She led the way back down the stairs. Before long, Atty was at the table, a plate of delicious steaming curry in front of him. -
<Yanmei> "Tell me if you want seconds, ok?"
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["Mmmhm!"-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [He dug into the bowl with gusto- and at the same time, there was a knock at the door.]
<Yanmei> Yanmei’s forehead creased again. No time. No time to investigate this place or to breathe to herself or even to feel guilty about the boy. She went to the door and opened it. "Yes?"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> [A huge bouquet of flowers confronted her…-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [With Isaiah’s face peeking around the side. "Hi~"]
<Yanmei> "…" The Yanmei in the world would be flattered and suprised. The latter she could do without effort. "What's all this?"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Like you don’t know." He purred, handing the lilacs over. "How's our little one today~?"]
<Yanmei> "Energetic? We just finished playing a game…" she accepted them with a smile, stepping back to let him in. "Hey, look who's home!"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Dad!" Atticus abandoned his curry, running over to pounce on Isaiah’s leg.-
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Hey, little man. Were you good for your mum?"-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["Uh-huh."-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["Good boy." Isaiah turned to Yanmei, poking her side with a grin. "You know that’s not who I meant…"]
<Yanmei> "Oh?" She gave him a puzzled look.
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Don’t play dumb, mummy." He said, patting her stomach fondly.]
*Yanmei went completely stiff. Her hands tightened around the bouquet. "S… seriously?!"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["… What’s wrong?"]
<Yanmei> "Noth… nothing. I just need a minute. Fresh air…" Still clutching the flowers, she started for the door. "Ah… dinner's on the stove? Maybe you and Atty could talk a little too."
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Sure… I’m here if you need me."]
<Yanmei> "Of course." She paused, giving him one last smile. "The flowers are beautiful. Thank you." And with that, she let herself out.
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> [There was a car in the drive way, and a shoulder-high fence… A garden of flowers and a few trees as well.]
<Yanmei> It was a nice little yard. Perfect for a growing family. Yanmei moved for the gate, fumbling with it it, her other hand still clutching the flowers. Pregnant. It wasn’t real, though. This wasn't her family, and this wasn't her baby. She wasn't in Paris-2. This house didn't belong to her either.
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Doesn’t it?"-
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> [A cool, quiet voice, coming from someone sitting on a nearby bench along the side of the road. Whoever it was was completely shrouded in a black robe.]
*Yanmei stiffened again. Turned toward the voice slowly. "Who are you?"
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["Sit down and let us talk."]
<Yanmei> "You know what’s going on here." It wasn't a question. She drew nearer, but she didn't sit down yet.
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["I do, and you should, too. After all, this is all your creation."]
<Yanmei> "Mine? My perfect ideal future, huh?"
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["Maybe, maybe not, but it is all from you." Said the figure. He was wearing a white mask, but unlike the Marionette’s mask, she could see blue eyes behind it. "I cannot, by definition, create."]
<Yanmei> "…" She dropped down next to him with a tired, aching sigh. "You could have knocked on the door instead of waiting out here? If all of this is from me, then why did I put myself here to begin with?"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["I put you here." Said the figure, shaking his head. "But this is the only ’future' I can imagine."]
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Do you want what’s here?"]
*Yanmei sighed again. "I still have too much left to do? More importantly, I didn't earn this life. It feels like I'm intruding on someone else's." -
<Yanmei> "Maybe in a decade or so. Maybe colored with shades of war and fighting. Maybe not at all."
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> [The figure didn’t respond. And yet what happened next was undisputedly his doing.-
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> [A massive, fiery eruption ripped through the house. Within a second, the house was gutted, destroyed, completely beyond saving. The smell of acrid burning wood and ash filled the air.]
<Yanmei> And Yanmei was on her feet immediately, mouth open, eyes wide in horror. Isaiah! Atticus! But…-
<Yanmei> Not real, not real, not real… She shut her eyes, trying to calm herself. Notrealnotreal… None of it was ever…
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [… And in an instant, the house was restored, as though nothing had happened.-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["I am not offering this future to you." Said the figure quietly.-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["What I am asking is that if this is the future you want."]
<Yanmei> "-Fine-. A happy, safe family with Isaiah. Yes, it’s a future I'd want someday."
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["But you don’t know if you'll obtain it."]
<Yanmei> "I don't know if I will," she agreed.
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["What do you need to do to achieve it?"]
<Yanmei> "Overcome the remaining Angels, Excalibur, the remaining Caines and their followers, the pull of my other ambitions, the dangers that threaten Isaiah, Lizzie and my mother, known and unknown."
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["I can assist in many of those."]
<Yanmei> "Everything has a cost. What’s yours?"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["There is no cost, except the inevitable cost that comes with me being unrestrained."-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> [He turned to look at Yanmei. "In balance, I assist all of the Children to survive, to protect themselves. But when I am ascendant, I turn upon them and destroy them, reducing them to nothingness."-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["And when I am at my nadir, the Children are too weak to protect themselves, and gorge upon life senselessly."]
<Yanmei> "The Destroyer…" Yanmei murmured. Her head sagged slightly, gaze lowered at the sidewalk. "Can I trust you?"
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["What do you mean?"]
<Yanmei> "Everyone has their own goals, and they try to assure, manipulate, and force others into helping them achieve it. But you… you’re just describing yourself like a force of nature without goals aside from this Balance. It doesn't feel quite… normal?"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Hold out your hand."]
*Yanmei hesitated. Slowly, she did just that.
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["What are the goals of your hand?"]
<Yanmei> "It’s my hand. It doesn't have a will of its own?"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["And so is the same for me, for I am a part of you."]
<Yanmei> She felt a lump in her throat. All too clearly, Joan’s words came ringing in her ears again. "What are you?"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["I am the companion that walks beside you, from your first breath to your last. I am the fury that sings in a warrior’s hands and delivers the killing blow to his foes. I am the whisper of doom to the weak and the murmur of caution to the foolhardy. I am the inevitable suicide of the man who grips his own oblivion, the urge to return to nothingness. When life is created, I am there; and when it is snuffed out I am there also. When danger arrives, it is I who prepares for the bloodshed and death. I am the one who turns the light of the soul into a weapon, and also a shield, and also dissolves that light of its own wishes. I live inside every living thing in the universe, and where my gloom does not rule, you find only madness and indolence. I am the dream the Ancients dreamed as they mourned their loved ones, and their wars, and wearied of life."-
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["In the words and vague concepts of humanity I am named Thanatos."-
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["I am the Death Drive."]
<Yanmei> "Death… Th-Thanatos…" She stared at him, and then looked away for a long while, and then looked back at him. Her hand had fallen back in her lap, balled into a tight fist. -
<Yanmei> Her face had lost quite a lot of color too. "I’ve already killed a lot," she said with difficulty. "Doesn't that mean you've already been unrestrained for some time? If… you are really this Death Drive and not me going crazy and talking to myself?" -
<Yanmei> Were the two possibilities really so mutually exclusive? One had to wonder…
[08:13] <Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["No." Said Thanatos quietly. "Killing is a sign of the presence of the Death Drive, but it does not mean the Death Drive is ascendant. You have to understand that the cost of me being unrestrained is a risk, not an inevitability. You have seen what unrestrained Death Drive means- you’ve seen it in EVA-04. That hatred of everything, of even oneself. That despair. That destructive power.
[08:13] <Fullmetal‘Lulu> Until you feel like that, then your Death Drive is not unrestrained."]
[08:19] <Yanmei> "I don’t think I can take that risk, then? Too many responsibilities… there are too many relying on me to stay in control. What's more, with the exception of the Angels, everyone who dies ends up in enemy hands."
[08:20] <Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["You don’t understand." Said Thanatos, his voice a whisper. "You are already taking that risk."]
[08:21] *Yanmei stiffened. "What are you saying?"
[08:28] <Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["I said it before. I am a part of you, and I will be until I die. I exist in all living things. Just by you living, so long as you have a soul, I am there, a part of you, and you run the risk of losing control of me."]
[08:39] <Yanmei> "What should I do? I don’t want to lose it. I'm just trying to survive!"
[08:40] <Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Eros."]
[08:40] <Yanmei> "What?"
[08:41] <Fullmetal`Lulu> ["Eros."]
[08:42] <Yanmei> "Eros? Eros what?"
[08:45] <Fullmetal`Lulu> ["I am an element of your soul, and my ascendancy relies on your soul becoming unbalanced. If you wish to keep me in check, the simplest way is to strengthen another part of your soul- typically Eros, the Life Drive."]
[08:48] <Yanmei> "I’m not having a baby," she said primly. "That would just lead to all sorts of trouble?"
[08:51] *Fullmetal‘Lulu has quit IRC (Broken pipe)
[09:10] *Fullmetal`Lulu has joined #nervfrance2
[09:11] <Fullmetal`Lulu> ["Reproduction is just one facet of the Life Drive." Said Thanatos quietly. "Creativity, art, fulfillment, compassion, love- these all have domains within Eros."]
[09:16] <Yanmei> "How unbalanced am I now? I thought I was already doing that stuff. Well, sort of. I’m not much of an artist? There's been no time for it lately anyway."
[09:18] <Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["I would say that your Life Drive is stronger than your Death. Not greatly stronger. But stronger. Which is good." Said Thanatos quietly. "Ultimately you want your Life Drive to be a little greater- but an unrestrained Life Drive is just as dangerous as an unrestrained Death Drive."]
[09:22] <Yanmei> "The two intersect a lot." She gently gripped the edge of the bench with her hands, kicking her legs out just a little. "Like when you’re trying to protect something in a battle. That's why we've - the EVA pilots - have been fighting a lot of the time."
[09:26] <Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Yes. Thanatos gives you the power to destroy, and Eros gives you the motivation to use that power to protect… It is a balance."]
[09:28] <Yanmei> "So if I kill to protect people-" She stopped herself, recalling some earlier lesson. "No, no. That’s wrong."
[09:34] <Fullmetal‘Lulu> [Thanatos stared at Yanmei- not incredulously. He was just staring. "Wrong?"]
[09:40] <Yanmei> "Isn’t it? If you really are a part of me, you must know about the Conquerer."
[09:41] <Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["It is not my place to tell you what is right and wrong." Said Thanatos quietly.-
[09:42] <Fullmetal`Lulu> ["And I know of the Conqueror, yes. A warning, from a part of you that fears an unrestrained Thanatos…" He turned away, slowly. "A part of you that fears you being too influenced by the Evangelion."]
[09:50] <Yanmei> "Even though the Conquerer warned me about - well, you, I guess - I still can’t find a way around killing even outside of the Eva." Her eyes narrowed, and she shook her head. "Protection is just a premise that leads to more killing, isn't it?"
[09:51] <Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Killing leads to killing." Said Thanatos simply. "Protection can lead to killing, or it can lead to something else, but protection begins when others decide to kill."]
[10:02] <Yanmei> "It’d be easier if I could get to people before they decided that. Pure life-and-death struggles, uncomplicated by morality and third parties." She smiled wryly. "It's too late for any of that, though. These conflicts, with the Angels and the Caines, have been going on before I was even born?"
[10:04] <Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["The roots of many conflicts predate their instigators." Said Thanatos quietly. "And when those who are caught up in the storm decide they are powerless except to flow with the storm, they simply allow the root to grow deeper."]
[10:07] <Yanmei> "You can’t stop a storm on your own. It's a force of nature? The only way to avoid being swept up in it is to run away."
[10:07] <Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["A god could stop a storm."]
[10:08] <Yanmei> "I’m no god," she said dully.
[10:09] <Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["You could be."]
[10:11] *Minaplo has joined #nervfrance2
[10:12] <Yanmei> "How? By using Excalibur? EVA-04?"
[10:12] *Fullmetal`Lulu has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
[10:20] <Minaplo> ["Do you want to be a god?"]
[10:26] <Yanmei> "I don’t know."
[10:27] <Minaplo> ["I might."]
[10:30] <Yanmei> "Oh yeah?" She raised an eyebrow. "What do you think, then?"
[10:30] <Minaplo> ["I think you want to stop the storm. I think for that, the price you pay is almost without limit." Said Thanatos.-
[10:31] <Minaplo> ["But I think that you are someone who has seen the power of a god, and decided that you want no part of it. That you are satisfied with the joy of mortality. And you do not know what you wish for more- the power to stop the storm, or the freedom to live freely."]
[10:35] <Yanmei> "Perceptive guy," Yanmei muttered, but she didn't sound very happy about it. "Do you think I'll have to make a decision soon?"
[10:38] <Minaplo> ["Yes, but it need not be a decision of two paths."]
[10:39] <Yanmei> "There are other options?"
[10:42] <Minaplo> ["One could always borrow the power of a willing god."]
[10:44] <Yanmei> "They would have to be trustworthy too."
[10:48] <Minaplo> ["Or less intelligent than you."]
[10:51] *Yanmei stared a minute. Then she started to laugh.
[10:56] <Minaplo> [Thanatos did not laugh.]
[10:58] <Yanmei> After a moment or two, Yanmei grew awkwardly quiet herself. "…"
[11:00] <Minaplo> ["Such things have their risks. You know of the price Gendo Ikari has paid for snatching a taste of godhood. But it is possible, yes, for you to stop the storm without apotheosis…"]
[11:03] *Yanmei cleared her throat. God, he was serious… "How would I do that?"
[11:07] <Minaplo> ["A god that has a bond with you would give you its power if you so wished, or a god that knew it was incomplete, and turned to you for greater wisdom…"]
[11:13] *Yanmei raced through her memories, trying to think of someone like that. "Isaiah, maybe? But…" she frowned deeply, glancing back where the house had been. "Is he a god? More importantly, is it right to use him like that if he is?"
[11:15] <Minaplo> ["He is someone who has been given the power of a god by another, but is not a god himself. In this case, you would be borrowing his power, which he borrowed from elsewhere."-
[11:15] <Minaplo> ["You could make him a god. The apotheosis of a man into an Evangelion."-
[11:16] <Minaplo> ["I decide not what is wrong and what is right. That is for you to decide."]
[11:23] *Yanmei nodded slowly, a troubled look in her eye. "I don't think I can do that to him? It would make him suffer. Besides," her frown deepened further still, "what if it changed him? His personality."
[11:23] <Minaplo> ["What indeed." Said Thanatos tonelessly.]
[11:30] <Yanmei> "I feel bad enough over what happened to him in the Synfront? I'm sorry. It's a good idea, but I'll try to look for other alternatives."
[11:32] <Minaplo> ["The simplest option," Said Thanatos, clearly unpurturbed by Yanmei's answer, "Depends on whether the Evangelion trusts you."]
[11:34] <Yanmei> "What, 04?" She hesitated.
[11:34] <Minaplo> ["Yes."]
[11:44] <Yanmei> "Trust is…" She exhaled. "Hell, I don't know how far it goes? I imagine that if he didn't, he wouldn't be letting me pilot freely."
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["You wish to speak to him."]
*Yanmei folded her arms. "Whatever? He can come out or he can stay hidden. It’s his choice."
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["You don’t want to speak to him, then?"]
<Yanmei> "…" Yanmei kept her arms folded. "I-I said it was up to him! He's never had any trouble showing up to talk before."
<Minaplo> ["Perhaps he thinks you don't want to speak to him."]
<Yanmei> "Huh? You think so?" She tilted her head, considering this for the very first time.
<Minaplo> ["It is a possibility."]
<Yanmei> "…"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> [Thanatos didn’t say anything. Just sat quietly.]
<Yanmei> "…" -
<Yanmei> Yanmei dropped her arms and stood up. "So, like. You could give me a hint as to where he is, right?" She smirked. "Time to turn the tables? I'll sneak up on him for a change."
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["He is wherever he wants to be." Said Thanatos quietly.]
<Yanmei> "That’s no help." Her smirk faded. She looked around at the street they were on. "…are you really a part of me?"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["I am. I am easily manifested here, for this is a place that exists in your mind and his mind also- and in him, I am very strong."]
<Yanmei> "In his mind too? So then… he can hear us?"
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["Yes."]
*Yanmei flushed with clear embarrassment. After another darting look around, she mumbled something.
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["A being such as that has very little ability for hope." Said Thanatos, looking up at Yanmei. "Why do you think this place appeared? Because the only hope he knows is the one he learns from you."]
<Yanmei> "He needs a better teacher then," she said wryly. "Always screwing up and running for protection… I’d say I'm kind of hopeless, actually." She paused. "That was a joke."
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Don’t feel so sorry for yourself."-
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> [It wasn’t Thanatos who said that- he was staring humourlessly at Yanmei.-
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> [It was someone else from behind her…]
<Yanmei> She stiffened, startled, and spun around!
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["You, sneak up on me? You’re more hopeless than you think." He said, smirking. Standing there, all smug and self-confident, wearing- well, he was wearing a more intimidating version of her Conqueror's armour…]
<Yanmei> "Y- why-!?" -
<Yanmei> Any visible embarrassment had nearly faded away by then, but now, suddenly, it came crashing across her face again, all bright red and furious. "You WERE listening!! Goddamn you!!"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["You’re sounding like a shy schoolgirl who's been caught red-handed by her crush. I didn't know you cared, you fox you…"]
<Yanmei> "Idiot! That's just -gross-." She tossed her hair imperiously. "And you're no better, skulking around without saying anything. What's your deal?!"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Skulking around?! This is -my- head, I can do whatever I want, I don’t need to take orders from some ironing-board girl who can't even save herself from a knock-off clone in a knock-off Eva unless she relies on -me-…"]
<Yanmei> "Ironing…" She shook with anger, forming fists with her hands. "I don't -need- to rely on you for -anything-! In fact, I'll beat the next Dysangelion creep on my own!"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["And how will you manage that?"]
<Yanmei> "Hah. You’re not the only one who can keep secrets? I already have it figured out." She eyed Thanatos smugly. "Isn't that right?"
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Is it?" Asked Thanatos quietly.]
*Yanmei made a slightly sour face. "Of course it is? Remember?"
<Fullmetal`Lulu> ["We never discussed Dysangelions specifically."]
<Yanmei> "W-whatever. Maybe you’re just not remembering correctly? But that's beside the point!" She pointed at 04. "If you were eavesdropping, you should already know what we were discussing right before you showed up."
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["You were discussing how little meaning your life has without being able to gaze upon my pure sex appeal, yeah. I hear that a lot from you, so it’s not like I was -really- listening…"]
<Yanmei> "Pity? Because if you had been listening, you'd know how much of a dumb, lying -jerk- you sound like right now."
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Oh, well, feel free to tell me all your real feelings…"]
<Yanmei> "All right, I will!" She huffed, tossing her hair once more. "You’re sneaky and insufferable, and I don't trust you at all. Not one bit."
<Fullmetal‘Lulu> ["Well you’re childish and insecure!"]
*Yanmei glowered angrily. "And…?"
<@Minaplo> ["You're too easily dispirited about defeat, you're always worrying too damn much about your boy and that little girl, you rely too much on weapons like swords and guns when you should be focusing on using your body as a weapon, you're alltogether too enamoured with social nonsense, just like every bloody teenage girl…"-
<@Minaplo> ["And your interior decorating fashion sense makes me sick."]
*Yanmei -fumed-. "And…?" she said through gritted teeth. "Do. You. Mistrust me?"
<@Minaplo> ["Do I trust you to redecorate my bathroom? No…"]
<Yanmei> "Do you even -have- a bathroom in here?" she sneered. "You know damned well what I mean! And my interior decorating projects are fabulous!"
<@Minaplo> ["I trust you."]
<Yanmei> That stopped her cold, just as it seemed she was tottering on another rant. "Er. Huh?"
<@Minaplo> ["I said I trust you."]
<Yanmei> "Oh." … "-Why-?"
<@Minaplo> ["Because of who you are, your qualities… You're perfect."]
<Yanmei> "Perfect for what?" She sensed a trap here, glancing briefly at Thanatos and back again. "I don't get it?"
<@Minaplo> [Thanatos was watching with detachment.-
<@Minaplo> ["Because you have this power, my power, I mean, and you have all… This that I have, and you deal with it, and you keep trying to use my power to protect people."-
<@Minaplo> ["I don't think it would've worked if you and I were alike. It would've been a disaster. But you're strong in areas where I'm weak, and I have the power that you need. So I trust you."]
<Yanmei> "Oh," she said again, and scratched the back of her neck.
<@Minaplo> ["… That's it?"]
<Yanmei> "Well… I'll say it's pretty shocking to hear you describe yourself as anything less than perfect. You're not some other hallucination, are you?"
<@Minaplo> ["I wouldn't be surprised to see you hallucinating me. It's the prerogative of teenage girls to day dream about hunks."]
<Yanmei> "Any sane girl would dream of someone who was less of a smugface?"
<@Minaplo> ["But enough about them, I was talking about you."]
<Yanmei> "Grrr…" Yanmei kicked irritably at the bench. "I'm going home."
<@Minaplo> ["What, you're not going to give me a hug first? I thought you missed me…"]

(16:52:27) @Yanmei: "Shut up." She turned away. "Maybe, if I feel like it, I'll use your help against the rest of those Dysangelions after all."
(16:53:07) Fullmetal‘Lulu: ["Hey, hey!"]
(16:58:42) @Yanmei: "And also, I get why you didn’t tell me a lot of details about your ultimate plan. So I'm not even mad about it?"
(16:58:55) Fullmetal‘Lulu: ["HEY!"]
(16:59:14) @Yanmei: "What?" She spun back around.
(17:00:39) » Join: Minaplo|Out (~251.401.511.101|olpuluL#251.401.511.101|olpuluL)
(17:01:58) » Quit: Fullmetal`Lulu (~032.801.511.101|olpuluL#032.801.511.101|olpuluL) (Ping timeout)
(17:02:07) » Minaplo|Out is now known as Minaplo
(17:03:15) Minaplo: ["I’m seriously insulted!"-
(17:03:30) Minaplo: ["You come here, and you're all, oh, I'm gonna use you against the Dysangelions."-
(17:03:53) Minaplo: ["Please tell me that isn't what you came here for. If it is I'm going to blow my top."]
(17:11:53) @Yanmei: "It's not like I came here consciously? It was that guy's doing." She jerked her head at Thanatos.
(17:13:50) Minaplo: ["I instigate nothing. I am merely a manifestation of both of your wishes." Said Thanatos quietly. "You wanted to come here, and you-" he turned to Elisha, "Wanted her to come."-
(17:14:13) Minaplo: ["Well, whatever…" Muttered Elisha. "But please tell me you see me as more than just a tool to beat the Dysses."]
(17:19:26) @Yanmei: "Shouldn't you already know that?" Yanmei grumbled. "Don't be dense?"
(17:28:20) Minaplo: ["… Well, of course I know."-
(17:28:45) Minaplo: [And at this point, he performed a hair-toss. His hair was too short for a real hair-toss- so he simply ensured that his hair was suddenly long, luscious and perfect.-
(17:28:51) Minaplo: [The hairtoss was magnificent.-
(17:29:24) Minaplo: ["But don't assume that all I'm good for is putting down a bunch of no-good unoriginal ripoffs. I could take the entire Dysangelion line by myself and all that'd remain is their ridiculous giant swords."]
(17:37:57) @Yanmei: "They're annoying small fries," Yanmei agreed, folding her arms and fighting against a sudden strong hair-pulling urge. "We still have the Angels and Mary Caine herself."
(17:38:28) Minaplo: ["And then Lilith and Adam…"-
(17:44:42) Minaplo: ["And then we have to hope that all our allies know what to do. This divinity thing is a major pain."]
(17:47:38) @Yanmei: "Mm." Yanmei nodded, frowning. "Hey. This whole merging with Adam thing… are you really cool with it?"
(17:47:51) Minaplo: ["What do you mean?"]
(17:55:10) @Yanmei: "I mean, I get that it's part of your plan. Three parts becoming a Seed for humanity, the Angels, and whatever Lilith is supposed to produce. But wouldn't you rather see the Angels, like… destroyed forever or something?"
(17:57:30) Minaplo: ["Ah, I think I see what you mean." Said Elisha, nodding slowly. "You're wondering why I'd want to become, in whatever way, the 'mother' of the Angels when I hate their guts, right? Working to preserve their species and all that when I've done my best to kill 'em."]
(17:58:18) @Yanmei: "Exactly!"
(17:59:30) Minaplo: ["And you're also asking me this because Ikari wants you to show compassion to a species that you've been trained to kill, a species that has caused you especially considerable harm, and naturally you want my wisdom and know-how to help you there, too…"]
(18:05:25) * @Yanmei snorted. "Ikari's a jerk and he's barking up the completely wrong tree. I'm just curious because he said some nonsense about you believing they deserve a second chance? So I came to see what you're -really- thinking about all this."
(18:12:01) Minaplo: ["It's hard to say." Said Elisha, seriously. "You know as well as I do that the person I am now- the one standing here- is… Damaged. An incomplete person. Barely one fourths of the man I was. So do you want the opinion of the blood-thirsty crazed Evangelion that has spent fourteen years choking on his own despair, or the memories of the man that I used to be?"]
(18:14:39) @Yanmei: "Both," she said promptly. "First your memories, and then the person you are right now."
(18:16:01) Minaplo: ["The person I was…"-
(18:16:13) Minaplo: [Elisha came over, sat down on the bench heavily.-
(18:18:30) Minaplo: ["I… Remember feeling sorry for Adam, for the Angels. I saw… Adam and Lilith, playing this huge fucking -game- for control of the world, and I remember that -we- were the pawns for both, that we were just going to be foot soldiers in their war, that whatever happened, the Angels and Lilim both would fight each other, mostly, and die, mostly, and whoever ended up in control- wouldn't
(18:18:31) Minaplo: be the ones doing the fighting."-
(18:20:04) Minaplo: ["And I remember a little before that too. Memories from past lives, really -old- ones. It's hard to explain to you, you're so- you're so grounded into being Yanmei. Me? I can't keep up that same discipline. I've died and died again, and the person I was, I… Had such -antipathy- for the state of things that it was easy to sink into old lives, old memories."-
(18:20:55) Minaplo: ["I remember thinking of the souls Adam had, and remembering what they were like when I was the Solemn Exarch. I remember friends and loved ones. Like your mother and father…"]
(18:23:30) @Yanmei: "Watcher's mother and father," she said firmly. "-My- parents are human."
(18:25:08) Minaplo: ["I know you say that, and you're right, but you're wrong." Said Elisha heavily. "You don't have the mind to grasp it. Sera doesn't really understand either. He thinks he's Sera, and he is, but he doesn't realise he's Elisha, too, at the same time. You don't really get it- that the person you're talking to now, and Sera, we're the same person. You're literally talking to Sera right now."-
(18:25:35) Minaplo: ["We were created as a single soul, and when I'm done, we'll be reborn as a single soul, too." Said Elisha, shaking his head.-
(18:26:44) Minaplo: ["It's like trying to imagine yourself being in two places at once, or having multiple streams of consciousness in your head. It came easily to me, when I was whole, but to normal humans, it's impossible. The idea of it is crazy."-
(18:28:18) Minaplo: ["But it's still true. So your parents are human. But your parents are Angels as well, now, Yanmei. Watcher isn't some separate entity. Watcher is you, and Yanmei at the same time. You're all the same thing."]
(18:36:06) @Yanmei: "I don't remember them," she said flatly. "And I don't feel anything for them, even though we're fighting each other? Even if what you say is true logically, the emotional connection isn't there. I'm fine with being Yanmei. I'm fine having a human mother…"
(18:38:03) Minaplo: ["What's -really- bothering you is that you're afraid that if you accept the 'Watcher' idea, you'll wake up one day and you'll remember all of that and you'll be a totally different person, and 'Yanmei' will cease to exist overnight, subsumed within that greater consciousness." He said, just as flatly.]
(18:40:01) » Join: Fullmetal‘Lulu (~212.621.511.101|olpuluL#212.621.511.101|olpuluL)
(18:41:08) » Quit: Minaplo (~251.401.511.101|olpuluL#251.401.511.101|olpuluL) (Ping timeout)
(18:42:28) * @Yanmei jerked slightly, as if she’d been stung by something. "That… has nothing to do with this! We were talking about your memories, not mine!"
(18:45:48) » Quit: Raphael (~ua.moc.odod.lsd.citats.122-511-841-221|leahpaR#ua.moc.odod.lsd.citats.122-511-841-221|leahpaR) (Quit:)
(18:48:01) Fullmetal‘Lulu: ["You already know what it might mean. You know the Libido Effect stems from a four-billion year old love from a past life that’s somehow forced itself into your everyday existence. You love him, you treasure him, and you rely on that effect now, but it still scares you, and why wouldn't it?" He murmured. "A being that has existed for such a long time, seen so many worlds, so many stars,
(18:48:01) Fullmetal‘Lulu: so many creatures and people, and wielded the power of a god… What hope does the consciousness of 17 year old Zhang Yanmei have against that?"]
[23:55] * Yanmei bristled. "That’s not even fair? I haven't even gotten to fight against it yet, and you're already counting me out! What would you do?"
[23:56] <Minaplo> ["I wouldn't worry about it nearly as much as you seem to do." Muttered Elisha. "Really, you're just worrying over nothing."]
Session Time: Thu Jul 25 00:00:00 2013
[00:01] <Yanmei> "Easy for you to say that now," Yanmei narrowed her eyes slightly, "but I doubt you were all calm and collected about it before you split yourself apart."
[00:02] <Minaplo> ["Oh, I don't know. I think I was pretty cool about the whole thing." He said lightly.-
[00:03] <Minaplo> ["But that isn't even what I mean. What I mean is that you actually don't have anything to -fear- from 'waking up' to the Watcher's memories. Even if you had all those memories- Zhang Yanmei would still exist. You probably wouldn't even change that much…"]
[00:08] <Yanmei> "Maybe. I've already seen a few past lives, and nothing's come of them?" -
[00:12] <Yanmei> "But it's stupidly infurating, too. Even if I stay myself, everything I've ever learned or experienced in -this- lifetime will just be a drop in a bucket full of experiences. Experiences collected for someone else's benefit."
[00:23] <Minaplo> ["-Your- benefit." Said Elisha, clearly frustrated.]
[00:24] <Yanmei> "Hmph." Yanmei folded her arms. "…you really think those memories won't be a problem?"
[00:26] <Minaplo> ["You and the Watcher are the same person. There are traits within your soul that run deeper than flesh." Said Elisha. "Haven't you noticed the pattern amongst some of your previous memories? They're people that are all alike in a lot of ways. Ambition, martial prowess- and the ability to strengthen and protect your people. That's just who you are."-
[00:27] <Minaplo> ["It's like with your boy. It wasn't the Libido Effect that really brought you two together. It's just that he's always been your type. The same thing that brought you two together all those times is the same thing that brought you together this time."]
[00:33] <Yanmei> "Well… it did feel pretty natural," she muttered thoughtfully. "And this is normal, right? The, erm, inherited traits thing?"
[00:35] <Minaplo> ["Of course."]
[00:37] <Yanmei> "I guess that means most of the Angels originated from Ancients who were complete jerks, then~"
[00:38] <Minaplo> ["Tch."-
[00:41] <Minaplo> ["The Elisha I was didn't think so. They're cursed- Adam's last actions during Impact included spreading the Angels across the world, but also implanting the infant Angels with intense Destiny urges- urges to find Adam, recover her. Because humans are in the way, Destiny compels them to destroy us as well."-
[00:42] <Minaplo> ["Their lives so far have been driven to war. In that case, they're practically an entire species of Neospartans… Worse, because they're almost completely solitary. How many A-Type Angels have even reunited with their Eves?"]
[00:47] <Yanmei> "Reunited? Almost none, I guess? It sounds like you're still sympathetic to them even now."
[01:08] <Minaplo> ["Hear me out."-
[01:08] <Minaplo> ["Here's the thing- the man I was thought it was tragic. He felt neither side was really at fault. Put yourself in Metatron's shoes- imagine if you were at war with someone, and you slew the other person, only to realise it was Lizzie? Can you even imagine a world in which Lizzie's turned against you, turned into your enemy?"]
[01:16] * Yanmei was starting to look sulky again. She didn't say anything, though, for now.
[01:19] <Minaplo> ["It's not like it can be helped." Said Elisha, shrugging. "When I managed to speak to Ginevre last, she told me that Metatron offered peace and Mary reacted by slaughtering and imprisoning the envoy- your father-, so there's really nothing to do but exterminate the Angels."-
[01:19] <Minaplo> ["But the man I was felt that they deserved to live just as much as we did."]
[01:23] <Yanmei> "So that's why you included them in your final plan, for better or worse. Even if we kill them all, they won't be gone forever."
[01:24] <Minaplo> ["Exactly. What do you think?"]
[01:25] <Yanmei> "I'm still not enamored with the idea, but at least now I know what led to it? It seems like Ikari wasn't making it up."
[01:26] <Minaplo> [Elisha shrugged. "Even if the man I was -didn't- feel like that, he'd still try to save them. They're his- my?- children too. Children shouldn't pay the for mistakes of their fathers."-
[01:27] <Minaplo> [He went quiet, staring off into space for awhile, before shaking his head slowly and continuing. "The day will come when mankind needs their help. It's as much for our sake as it is their's."]
[01:34] <Yanmei> "'The enemy of my enemy,' I suppose," said Yanmei grudgingly. "I guess that's how the rest of humanity would eventually view it."
[01:34] <Minaplo> ["Mmm."-
[01:34] <Minaplo> ["And then… There's the views of the person I am now."]
[01:35] <Yanmei> "Yeah?" She focused on him with renewed attention.
[01:36] <Minaplo> ["… There's not much to say." He looked over at Thanatos. "You don't even understand what I'm like when we're not synchronised. A lot of the person you see is shaped by you- your normal human ability."-
[01:37] <Minaplo> ["I hate the Angels." he said softly. "But I hate them just as much as I hate humanity, and I want them all to die forever. I hate them, because I was the one who unleashed them, really- and I hate them because they're my error, my legacy of woe. I hate them."-
[01:38] <Minaplo> ["I hate everything. Trees, water, the stars, every. Single. Thing. When you're not here, my existence is a sea of resentment, hate, one I'm bobbing along in forever. I can only ever taste my own rage, my own despair. I hate myself."-
[01:38] <Minaplo> ["I especially hate myself more than anything in the world. If there's anything that deserves to die, it's me."]
[01:47] <Yanmei> It left her visibly gobsmacked, and for a few seconds she just blinked at him without saying anything. -
[01:52] <Yanmei> "You're working to fix it? The mistakes, I mean. So shouldn't that mean you should be less hard on yourself?"
[01:54] <Minaplo> ["You wish." Muttered Elisha, shaking his head vigorously. "But I don't even think about that when I'm by myself. All I think about is wanting to die…"-
[01:54] <Minaplo> ["I'm so full of hate. You really don't have any idea. There's so little honest goodness in me left, so little love or trust."-
[01:55] <Minaplo> ["But all of that I've given to you. You're the only thing I don't hate."]
[01:58] * Minaplo has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
[01:59] * Minaplo has joined #nervfrance
[02:05] <Yanmei> "…" Yanmei looked down for just a split second. "I never understood why, really. When I first started piloting, I thought you hated me just as much as you hated everything else? But when I look back, it wasn't really that, huh?"
[02:09] <Minaplo> ["What do you think?"]
[02:13] <Yanmei> "I think… you were just really crappy at talking to people," Yanmei smirked. "And anyway, this-" she gestured to him, and then to the seemingly calm neighborhood around them as an afterthought, "probably took time and effort to manifest."
[02:15] <Minaplo> ["Well, it's -your- thoughts, it's just in my head…"-
[02:18] <Minaplo> ["But I don't know. I suppose at first, you hated me too, and that seemed to go well with it all." He murmured. "Maybe it was something else. Maybe I knew the person you'd become once you'd grown a little. Either way, I clung to that. You were my little spark of hope in a world of hate…"]
[02:32] <Yanmei> "A spark. Is that really enough…?" Yanmei was frowning, just a little. "When no one's around, you're still…"
[02:33] <Minaplo> ["A little less these days." He admitted. "I think about you most of the time. It keeps me sane."]
[02:38] <Yanmei> "O-oh. Well…" She tossed her hair. "If you're fixating on me, it means you have actual taste? So congratulations." -
[02:40] <Yanmei> "…still. How much time do we have left? Do you think we can grow even more than we have?"
[02:41] <Minaplo> ["I think we can, a little. Maybe. Who knows? Maybe Gendo has the right idea. He's a dickhead, but he's pretty sharp."]
[02:43] * Yanmei grit her teeth. "I don't know how anyone puts up with him."
[02:46] <Minaplo> ["According to Yui, he's rather sweet when he's by himself, but maybe he's just really good in bed…"]
[02:47] <Yanmei> "UGH." She clapped her hands over her ears. "That's the most horrid thing I've heard all day?"
[02:47] <Minaplo> [Elisha smirked.-
[02:48] <Minaplo> [Naturally, he took it further. "… Also, aren't you vain? Fixating on you… Please. Neither you -nor- your milk-starved body feature in my fantasies. I have your luscious friend Ju for that…"]
[02:52] <Yanmei> "What?! You keep her out of your head, she's off limits and not even that stacked and I -don't- want to hear this!"
[02:53] <Minaplo> ["Wow, bitchy! You that jealous of your friends' assets?"]
[02:57] * Yanmei scoffed. "Ridiculous! Don't you have, I dunno, a -wife- to dream about?"
[02:58] <Minaplo> [The trap is sprung.-
[02:58] <Minaplo> ["Well, if you're sure, then I'll rustle up a lot of fantasies, as many as I can. The next time we synchronize, I can show you all my erotic Ginevre fantasies one by one…"]
[03:03] <Yanmei> "I'd rather go blind," she snapped. "If you do that, I swear I'll retaliate with Isaiah fantasies."
[03:03] <Minaplo> ["Ugh, that'd be horrible- if only because they'd involve you."]
[03:04] <Minaplo> [He mumbled something else under his breath as well.]
[03:18] <Yanmei> "Huh? What's that? Are you saying 'I give'? No awful fantasies of the former Commander?"
[03:20] <Minaplo> ["No. I'm saying that you don't need to -try- to show me horrid Isaiah fantasies. It happens all the time. You're doing a synch test or you're in battle and you see him and then, bam! French kisses and necking and silky panties all over my conscious mind. It's horrible…"]
[03:22] <Yanmei> "Wh-when?! That never happens!"
[03:25] <Minaplo> ["It happens all the time. I know it does because I see it!" Muttered Elisha, his expression deeply sour. "It's especially bad these days, since you've been so busy, they build up, you know? You ought to just lock the doors for a few hours and get that out of your system." He said sternly. "You agree, right, Thanatos?"-
[03:25] <Minaplo> ["Sexuality isn't my domain."-
[03:25] <Minaplo> ["You're useless."]
[03:30] <Yanmei> "Mmrph."' Yanmei was glaring again - at both of them, as though Thanatos was contributing to this instead of dispassionately watching from his bench. "You're both horrible."
[03:31] <Minaplo> [Elisha laughed.-
[03:31] <Minaplo> [It… Was a nice sound. Warm.-
[03:32] <Minaplo> ["Man, I only ever have fun when you're around. You should visit me more often instead of being kidnapped."-
[03:32] <Minaplo> ["I was actually worried, you know?"]
[03:34] <Yanmei> "Yeah, well, I thought as much when you suddenly showed up Stateside?" She turned a little grave. "I don't intend to let that happen again, thanks."
[03:35] <Minaplo> ["I'd rather you didn't. If I have to blast my way into the Synfront and tear your soul out of the Eternity Drive, I will, but that sounds suspiciously like effort."]
[03:38] <Yanmei> "If you did end up doing that, make sure to crush Mary Caine along the way, would you?"
[03:38] <Minaplo> ["…"-
[03:39] <Minaplo> [Suddenly his face goes grave, and he looks away. "I can't."]
[03:40] <Yanmei> "…!" She leaned forward slightly, confused. "Wait, what? What do you mean?"
[03:40] <Minaplo> ["I can't. I can't bring myself to hurt her."]
[03:41] <Yanmei> "But… but why?! She's horrible…"
[03:42] <Minaplo> ["She's my sister." Said Elisha, listlessly. "I may hate everything, but I can't hurt some people- Ginnie, Alex, or Mary…"-
[03:42] <Minaplo> ["It's stupid. She's worse than anyone I've ever met. But…"-
[03:43] <Minaplo> ["… She's my sister." He said again. "She's in a lot of my memories. Sometimes she was cold to me, sometimes she was warmer, she'd read me stories or play with me, and train me, and… I remember that once upon a time, she wanted nothing more than to be anything but a Caine. She was like me, wanting to escape the… The thing we'd been born into."-
[03:44] <Minaplo> ["She wanted to be an archaeologist, and… I know that she's different now. But I can't bring myself to kill her, not with those memories."]
[03:49] * Suzune has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
[03:50] <Yanmei> "…" Be reasonable. If she exploded, it wouldn't do anyone any good, and would make her look like a basketcase. "What if she interferes with your plans?"
[03:59] <Minaplo> ["Well, she's already doing that, but… I can't change how I feel. I'm an Evangelion- my primal urges are as powerful as my lofty goals."-
[04:00] <Minaplo> ["Besides, wouldn't you rather stab her personally?"]
[04:01] <Yanmei> "Yes," she said promptly. "Yes, I would."
[04:02] <Minaplo> ["Well there you go then."]
[04:06] <Yanmei> "…alright, then," she managed after a long moment. "I won't force it?"
[04:08] <Minaplo> [He nodded.-
[04:08] <Minaplo> ["I'm sorry. I'm a lousy god of destruction, aren't I?"]
[04:13] * Yanmei shrugged a little stiffly, but she soon found a faint grin in spite of everything. "Everyone deserves a vacation. Don't worry about it?"
[04:13] <Minaplo> ["Yeah, that reminds me: you had your fun in Melbourne and New Mexico, so now your vacation's over. Time to put your socks on and start kicking arse."]
[04:15] <Yanmei> "I wish? They've sidelined us for the next battle."
[04:15] <Minaplo> ["That pretty boy Wellesley's leading the fight, right?"]
[04:16] * Yanmei nodded firmly. "That's right."
[04:16] <Minaplo> ["Hmmh. He'll lose. You know that, right?"]
[04:17] <Yanmei> A wary, worried look settled on her face. "What? You think so?"
[04:18] <Minaplo> ["The Warmaster'll send him crying back to his Way-Way's bosom in minutes. You mark my words…"]
[04:21] <Yanmei> "We'll see…" Lots of very specialized long-ranged fighters against a being that was super fast and super practical. "He's supposed to be a genius in his own right? We'll see how he does."
[04:22] <Minaplo> ["I suppose."-
[04:23] <Minaplo> [He stood up. "So, you have everything you need for now."]
[04:24] <Yanmei> "Yeah," she made no move to recover the flowers she'd left beside the little bench. She tilted her head back slighty to observe the make-believe sky. "Guess I should head back?"
[04:24] <Minaplo> ["You should… But you still owe me that hug."]
[04:27] <Yanmei> Yanmei blinked at him, startled. "You were serious about that?"
[04:27] <Minaplo> [He stood up, throwing his arms wide.]
[04:29] * Yanmei hesitated. Then, cautiously, she stepped into said arms.
[04:30] <Minaplo> [He wrapped his arms around her. Despite everything, they felt warm, and… Comforting. It was a fatherly embrace.-
[04:31] <Minaplo> ["Ah… My little Yanmei." He murmured affectionately. "You have a lot of burdens… But don't forget that you have the love of a god who will carry them as you like."]
[04:36] <Yanmei> Bizarre. Incredibly so. But… not unpleasant. She shut her eyes, and slowly lifted her own arms to reciprocate…
[04:37] <Minaplo> ["I want you to remember something."]
[04:37] <Yanmei> "Yeah…?"
[04:39] <Minaplo> ["Atticus isn't a bad name for a kid, but Elisha's a good name too, you know…"]
[04:39] <Yanmei> "…"
[04:41] <Minaplo> ["And remember something else. For me?"]
[04:41] <Yanmei> "Huh?"
[04:42] <Minaplo> ["Full-cream milk. Three litres for 1 franc 50. Just saying."]
[04:43] * SyntaxTerror has joined #nervfrance
[04:45] <Yanmei> "-What-?!" Yanmei's eyes were open now, and they were glaring. "Now you're just pissing me off?"
[04:46] <Minaplo> ["You're cutest when you're angry." He said with a grin.-
[04:46] <Minaplo> ["… I'm sorry for everything. But from now on, you can trust me. Alright?"-
[04:46] <Minaplo> [A fond hand through her hair.]
[04:48] <Yanmei> That took her off just as much as the initial hug, but she went with it, trying to adapt. "Yeah," she mumbled. "Yeah, I hear you."-
[04:48] <Yanmei> "I'm going to do my best too."

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License